Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
January 18, 2007
22 Comments
From Woodstock:
Put simply: Marketing exists to tell you that you’re deficient and point out the ways in which Company A’s product can help you make up for that heretofore unknown deficiency in ways that are so much more productive, efficient, and have a higher probability of getting you laid — because creating the illusion that a product will increase your probability of getting laid is really what marketing is all about — than Company B’s product.
Disagree. If marketing was that easy, everybody would be rich.
January 17, 2007
21 Comments
[One of the new Stormhoek label designs.]
I was hanging out the other day with two gamer friends of mine who play a lot of X-Box. Though the conversation bent in many different directions that evening, one nugget stuck out for me:
The Short Version: X-Boxers and bloggers aren’t really that different. They’re just trying to connect, just X-boxers use games and the internet, and bloggers use the written word and the internet. The tools differ, but the primal need [i.e. the need to connect] remains the same.
Perhaps this is why in the early days of Web 1.0 there was so much porn, cybersex and flame wars going on. We bloggers are used to seeing the internet in contemporary and/or futurist terms. But these days I’ve started seeing the internet as just a manifestation of something far more primal and ancient.
Of course, being in the wine business, I can see why. Wine has been used as a social object for thousands of years. So seeing the connections between a $10 bottle of South African vino and other social objects i.e. X-Box and blogs, isn’t that far of a stretch for me. It’s all about Human Connection. Love. Everything else is secondary.
Random Thought: As any former choirboy will know, wine is mentioned a lot in The Bible. Funny how they don’t talk about the quality much.
You read “Jesus, knowing that tonight was his last night on earth, offered his disciples wine”, or “King David, being full of internal conflict, drank a lot of wine, and then went home to give Queen Bathsheba a good seeing-to.“
But you don’t read, “Jesus, knowing that tonight was his last night on earth, offered his disciples an unpretentious little Sauvingnon with undertones of blackcurrant and lemons.“
Or “King David, being full of internal conflict, downed a few sips of a delightfully characterful Chateau Le Feuvre, and then went home to give Queen Bathsheba a good seeing-to.“
Why not? Because maybe, just maybe, all that wine geekery doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. If it mattered, they would’ve fit it in there somehow.
4 Comments
Steve Clayton’s signed “Blue Monster” litho is now bidding on e-Bay at £62.00 GBP [approx. $120 US]. Thanks to everybody who bid on it so far.
At time of posting, the auction has just over 24 hours to go. Exciting!
[UPDATE:] All proceeds are going to charity [the NSPCC]. Steve just announced: “If we hit £100 I’ll add £100 to it myself. How’s that?“
Thanks, Steve!
[UPDATE:] Final bid was £113.00 GBP. Wow. Tell Steve to get his checkbook out. Heh.
January 16, 2007
1 Comment
It seems the gapingvoid mainfesto thread has inspired a Parenting Manifesto Project, courtesy of RebelDad.
Very cool. I think it’s wonderful. Heads up to Superha for pointing me to it [She’s got a great little Mommy blog, by the way. Ashley’s a real cutie…].
Yes. I like kids, believe it or not.
January 15, 2007
4 Comments
Many thanks to Guy Kawasaki, one of my “writer heroes” for saying such nice things about “How To Be Creative”, which he recently read for the first time.
Guy read the ChangeThis version [PDF file], though if you prefer you can also read it in its original blog format here.
[Bonus Links:] Guy’s ChangeThis manifesto, The Art Of The Start, which is excellent, and his book of the same title.
Thanks again, Guy…
[P.S. I wrote HTBC in Summer 2004, but as you can see from Technorati, it’s still doing the rounds.]
1 Comment
Last month in Paris, Estelle and Marc conducted an absolutely fascinating interview with David Sifry, the founder and CEO of Technorati. You can watch it here.
Besides making an indispensable service for the blogosphere, David is one of those rare chaps I know that I would describe as passionate and lucid as he is visionary. Besides that, he’s a lot of fun to hang out with.
If you’re seriously interested in the internet, you can’t afford to miss this one. Rock on.
January 14, 2007
44 Comments
Random thoughts on being an entrepreneur.
I wouldn’t say I was an authority on entrepreneurship, certainly not in the same league as people like Fred Wilson or Jason Calacanis. That being said, the last couple of years haven’t been too shabby, either. With that in mind, here are a few thoughts I have on the subject, in no particular order. The list, by the way, is far from complete– I’ll probably be adding to it sooner than later etc.
1. Everything takes three times longer than it should. Especially the money part.
2. The best way to get approval is not to need it.
3. People want what they can’t have. In fact, that’s pretty much all they do want.
4. Once you become an entrepreneur, you find the company of non-entrepreneurs a lot harder to be around. You’ve seen things they haven’t; the wavelengths alter, it’s that simple.
5. In a world of over-supply and commodification, you are no longer paid to supply. You’re being paid to deliver something else. What that is exactly, is not always obvious.
6. Word of mouth is the best advertising medium of all. The best word of mouth comes from disrupting markets.
7. People buy your product because it helps fill in the narrative gaps in their lives.
8. You can either be cheapest or the best. I know which one I prefer.
9. Some people think that once they secure venture funding, their problems will be over. Wrong. That’s when your problems REALLY begin.
10. It’s better to be underfunded than overfunded.
11. If an average guy in a bar can understand what you do for a living, chances are you’re halfway to becoming a commodity.
12. It’s easier to turn an ally into a customer than vice versa.
13. If you’re happy in your career before the age of thirty, you’re probably doing something wrong. Heck, if you’re happy in your career before the age of seventy, you’re probably doing something wrong.
14. Smart, young, artistic people are always asking me which is a better career path, “Creativity” or “Money”. I always answer that it doesn’t matter. What matters is “Effective” and/or “Ineffective”.
15. Write the following on a piece of paper, have it framed, and stick it on your office wall: “Have you hugged your customer today?”
16. People will always, always be in the market for a story that resonates with them. Your product will either have this quality or it won’t. If your product fails this test, quit your job and go find something else. Just making the product incrementally cheaper or better won’t help you.
17. Products are idea amplifiers. The molecules and/or bytes are secondary.
18. People remember the quality long after they’ve forgotten the price. Unless you try to rip them off.
19. Markets serve entrepreneurs better if the latter can keep the former undersupplied. Oversupply is the kiss of death.
20. I personally know a former CEO who, once he attained control of the company, ran an EXTREMELY profitable business into the ground in less than two years. From a market cap of $100 million to ZERO, just like that. Why? Short answer: He loved being “The” CEO, but he didn’t much care for being “a” CEO.
21. In terms of becoming an entrepreneur, probably the most useful thing I learned in the last twenty years was how to enjoy my own company for long stretches of time.
22. One successful entrepreneur I know well has a wonderful quality, namely that he never, ever compares himself to other people. He just does his own thing, which actually serves him rather well. Just because his competitor has bought himself a bigger motor boat, doesn’t mean he feels the need have a bigger motor boat. This quality helps him to build his business the way he sees fit, not the way the motor boat people see fit.
23. Running a startup is full of extreme ups and downs. Which is why so many successful and happy entrepreneurs I know lead such normal, stable, unglamorous, “boring”, family-centered lives. Somehow they need the latter in order to balance out the former. Extra-curricular drama looks great in the tabloids, but that’s all it’s ultimately good for.
24. MBAs are conditioned to use their brains in much the same way as sex workers are conditioned to use their genitals. Nice work if you can get it.
25. Bill Gates may have a million times more money than me, but he isn’t going to live a million times longer than me, watch a million times more sunsets than me, make love to a million times more women than me, drink a million times more fine wines than me, listen to a million times more Beethoven String Quartets than me, nor sire a million times more children than me. Human beings don’t scale.
26. F. Scott Fitzgerald once wrote, “There are no second acts in American lives.” F. Scott was a drunkard and a fool.
39 Comments
Random Notes On Blogging.
1. The First Rule of Blogging: “Blogs don’t write themselves.” It’s the hardest and most frustrating part of professionally helping others to blog.
2. Most bloggers I have met I would describe as smart, decent, passionate people. This includes bloggers that I don’t particularly like on a personal level. I have yet to meet a blogger who I would describe as a “Thoroughbred Scumbag”.
3. Blogging is an art, same as any other method of self-expression. Some are better at it than others.
4. Stay as honest as you can, for as long as you can. Once you cross the line it’s hard to go back.
5. A lot of serious bloggers became so because frankly, they had a lot of time on their hands. And often there were good reasons for that.
6. Blogging is a great way to make things happen indirectly. I say that all the time, and will KEEP saying it till people finally get it [I’m not holding my breath].
7. Far too much time and energy is spent watching people make money directly off their blogs [e.g. via advertising revenues etc], as opposed to indirectly [e.g. becoming an authority on something, and using said authority to enhance your already-existing business]. I believe the latter [which Doc Searls call The “Because” Effect] is a far more pleasant, effective and likely way to succeed.
8. So you a read lot of A-Listers. Congratulations. You now know a lot of stuff everybody else knows.
9. It’s damn hard not to read a lot of A-Listers. They got to where they are for a reason.
10. I hardly ever leave comments on other people’s blogs any more.
11. If somebody makes a harsh remark about me in the comments or somewhere else, usually my first reaction is to ask, “Yeah, and what is it THAT YOU DO that is so fucking interesting, Asshole?”
12. Cube-dwellers-with-attitude are pathetic.
13. When I first started blogging, I was living the Cumbrian boonies, being a bit of a recluse. When business finally picked up, as I started traveling more often and meeting more people, my “audience” became far less abstract to me. Conclusion: It’s far nicer writing for real people that you know personally, than for demographic “eyeballs”. I think when talking about the former, Doc Searls’ embodies this better than any one I know.
14. I agree with Doc Searls’ thought that “Wuffie is earned”.
15. Why aren’t there more women bloggers in the circles I travel in? The answer is a three-letter word, beginning with the letter “M”.
16. The day you can write as compellingly and consistently as say, Kathy Sierra, Jeff Jarvis, Guy Kawasaki or Michael Arrington, will be the day I start taking your complaints of low traffic seriously.
17. Corporate America doesn’t really like blogs. Like I care.
18. If your goal is to have a large, influential online readership, I’d say give yourself five years. That’s how long it took Om Malik. Some do it in less, of course, but they seem to be quite exceptional.
19. For us serious blog evangelists, it’s tempting to think “Everybody should have a blog”. About as tempting as the thought, “Everybody should be able to write well.” And about as realistic.
20. Blogging will never be a mainstream activity so long as being able to write [A] well, [B] often and [C] about stuff THAT PEOPLE ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT remain the main barriers to entry.
21. Barely a week goes by without me contemplating permanently turning off the comment section.
22. How to know you’ve arrived: When you suddenly realize that to stop blogging would be tantamount to an act of economic suicide. That moment came for me at Les Blogs 1, in Paris back in early 2005.
23. Another way to know you’ve arrived: When you realize that every business relationship you’ve established in the last twelve months was a direct result of blogging.
24. You think A-Listers are arrogant bastards? You should meet the B-List.
25. There is no A-List. If you think there is, you’ve missed the whole point.
26. There is an A-List. Fuck with us and we’ll have you destroyed like stray dogs.
27. The best way to raise you profile in the blogosphere [besides writing good stuff] is to attend the various conferences; the more, the merrier. I am [at least] fifty times more likely to link to you if I’ve already met you in real life. The other good way is to attend the geek dinners.
28. I wish I were better at linking to other people. The list of people I should have linked to, but haven’t, would fill a phone book.
29. Sixty million blogs. Sixty million business models.
30. Yes, the blogosphere is a great place to get laid. No, I’m not telling you how I found this out.
31. If you ever forget your manners, you will pay, and quickly.
32. You are not carving in stone. You die, the blog dies.
33. It’s tempting to think that people read your blog. Sadly, they don’t. They skim them. So always make your content skim-friendly. Write it with “skimmabilty” baked-in.
34. Anybody who harbors the idea that Madison Avenue EVEN SLIGHTLY understands the internet is a fool. I’ve been looking for YEARS for evidence to the contrary and simply can’t find any.
35. In this internet-enabled world of ours, Madison’s Avenue’s loss is PR’s gain. Which is why, as a former advertising hack, I follow the Edelman story very closely.
36. Getting other people to “blog for you” is a big mistake.
37. Z-Listers are every bit as selfish, self-important and psychologically flawed as A-Listers. Except the former don’t have large armies of people with real and imagined incentives for tripping them up.
38. I like and respect Robert Scoble a lot, but I find his high tolerance for trolls in his comments bordering on the clinically insane.
39. If a blog doesn’t allow comments, then yes, it’s still a blog. People who say otherwise are just getting in touch with their “Inner Idealistic Wanker”.
40. When people ask me what the future of media is, I always answer, “RSS”. Thank you, Winer & Co. Seriously.
41. Most of the stuff on this list is wrong.
January 12, 2007
15 Comments
Having spent most of the last few years in front of a computer screen, immersed in a tangled web of blogging, business and cartooning, I’m starting to feel a bit deprived of culture. And I’m sure a lot of techie/geek/entrepreneurs types out there feel the same.
It’s been ages since I went to an art museum. Months and months. I think it’s time I went and visited one, here in London. Not only that, I think it would be more fun if I brought along some fellow cuturally-deprived techie/geek/entrepreneurs types along with me. We could all use a dose etc.
So all you geeks out there, feel free to join me. I’m planning on going Sunday, the 21st of January. Let’s meet somewhere for lunch at noon, check out a museum [my vote would be for the Tate Modern], then maybe go grab a beer afterwards. Drop me an e-mail if you fancy coming, also please add your name to the wilki. It should be fun!
One stipulation: Taking a page out of the London Girl Geeks’ book, I find this kind of event is always far more jolly if there’s a good balance of men and women. So the rule is: Everybody who attends must bring along another person of the opposite sex. Easy.
If enough people turn up maybe we can turn this into a regular event…
8 Comments
[Click on image to enlarge/download/print etc. Licensing terms here etc.]
Christopher Carfi is one of my favorite marketing bloggers. His writings are mostly based around the following:
THE SOCIAL CUSTOMER MANIFESTO
* I want to have a say.
* I don’t want to do business with idiots.
* I want to know when something is wrong, and what you’re going to do to fix it.
* I want to help shape things that I’ll find useful.
* I want to connect with others who are working on similar problems.
* I don’t want to be called by another salesperson. Ever. (Unless they have something useful. Then I want it yesterday.)
* I want to buy things on my schedule, not yours. I don’t care if it’s the end of your quarter.
* I want to know your selling process.
* I want to tell you when you’re screwing up. Conversely, I’m happy to tell you the things that you are doing well. I may even tell you what your competitors are doing.
* I want to do business with companies that act in a transparent and ethical manner.
* I want to know what’s next. We’re in partnership…where should we go?
Thanks, Chris! Always an inspiration.
[Manifesto submission guidelines are here.] [Manifesto archive is here.]
January 11, 2007
No Comments
Looks like Thingamy is having short-term growing pains. Sigurd explains:
And it wouldn’t be bad to speed up things a notch either, now that the stuff is gelling.
So when some [financial] “friends of the house” showed interest last autumn I was listening.
I’m not a complete novice in such matters — have done six LBOs for my own purse in my earlier life and arranged many an acquisition for others, so the technical side and other aspects of deal making is not an unknown.
That said, the rest of the path, the last few meters to the bank seems to drag out as even rich people have constraints on their cash-flow. Alas, a fact not always included in the discussions.
Ah, the joys of bootstrapping. Like it says on the Alarm Clock blog:
He’s [Sigurd’s] the entrepreneur behind Thingamy, an application development tool for business aplications. Based on recent blog posts, it looks like VCs are courting him, seeing Thingamy as an example of Enterprise 2.0, no doubt.
[Disclosure: I have a small stake in Thingamy.]
January 10, 2007
5 Comments
Usually I’m fairly delighted when one of my prints hits above the $50 mark. Steve Clayton’s signed “Blue Monster” litho is now bidding on e-Bay at £31.00 GBP [approx. $60 US] which, considering the auction still has over a week to go, isn’t too shabby.
If I ever manage crack the art market, it won’t be through the usual London/New York fashionista crowd… it’ll be through Silicon Valley. That’s my guess, anyway.
[UPDATE:] Now bidding at £52.00. Heh.
1 Comment
When I was in Paris last month one of the people I enjoyed hanging out with was Kris Hoet, who works for Microsoft’s Windows Live.
Here’s a wee 10-minute interview I did with him.
[Key Question we talked about:] Why isn’t Windows Live considered “Web 2.0″ by the Web 2.0 crowd?
Is that Nature or Nurture? You decide.
January 9, 2007
18 Comments
Everyone’s been getting all excited about Apple’s new “iPhone”, but somehow I just can’t be bothered.
I feel much the same way about my new MacBook Pro laptop, which I’ve had since November. The most interesting thing so far has been opening the cardboard box it came in. Since then it’s been all downhill.
Though to be fair, one can never get too excited about good package design.…
[Note to Stylist:] The guy who can look good in a turtleneck hasn’t been born.
[UPDATE:] A fairly informal reaction from Nokia.
January 8, 2007
2 Comments
[Video Podcast:] My friend, Robert Scoble and some other tech bloggers interview Bill Gates during his lunchbreak. Interesting stuff.
No Comments
Dennis Howlett does a guest column in ZDNet.
Fellow Enterprise Irregular, blogger and IT/finance consultant Dennis Howlett offers a guest post on the state of business application software, connecting the dots between Erasure, Last.fm, social media, attention, Paris Hilton, James Governor, Jeff Nolan, Oracle, SAP, Freshbooks, thingamy, Eternal Recurrence, Sage, Infor, Larry Ellison and Marc Benioff.
Says Dennis:
In the meantime, I wonder if Oracle’s marketing department is thinking of gaming Ms. Hilton’s assets. After all, ringmaster Larry Ellison has gone awfully quiet of late. The business apps business could do with a new comedian showperson on whom we could lavish attention. I’m tired of Marc Benioff’s hyperbole. And in any event, the idea that Oracle could game Ms Hilton with a one-liner like: ‘Great ass gets a great ride with Oracle seems almost appropriate.
Thingamy gets a wee mention. Nice one, Den.
[Disclosure: I have a small stake in Thingamy.]
1 Comment
After publishing his “Future of Learning Manifesto” and getting a lot of feedback on it, Christian Long went ahead and created a new blog around the same subject, appropriately entitled “The Future of Learning Manifesto”.
What a great idea. Godspeed, Christian!
[Manifesto submission guidelines are here.] [Manifesto archive is here.]
January 7, 2007
5 Comments
Christian Long wrote “The Future of Learning Manifesto”. Short version:
1. “Playing Small Does Not Serve the World.“
2. What Would Socrates Do?
3. Nobody Cares if You Walked Up Hill Both Ways Barefoot in the Snow.
4. Got Passion? If Not, I’ll Tell You What To Care About.
5. My Memory Is Only As Big As My Heart. Otherwise, I’ll Stick with Google
6. Look it Up or Die.
7. Collaboration Ain’t About Holding Hands. It’s about Going Cool Places Fast.
8. This Will Go Down on Your Permanent Record.
9. It Ain’t About the Technology. It’s About Being Inside the Story.
10. Nobody Knows the Answer. Get Comfy with the Questions.
You can read the entire long version here. Thanks, Christian!
PS: Yeah, I know, the long version is much longer than 500 words, which is the maximum I normally “allow” for the manifestos. Then again, the abridged version he e-mailed was me was well under 500 words, so I thought, what the hell, cut him some slack etc.
[Manifesto submission guidelines are here.] [Manifesto archive is here.]
1 Comment
The Super-Smart Women’s Love Manifesto
1. Come here often?
2. You work for Sun Microsystems? Never heard of them.
3. You? Make more money than me? As if.
4. To hell with your mind. Where are the big boobs, tight ass, long blonde hair and cute little giggle? Jeeze, get with the program, Girl.
5. Can I have your phone number anyway?
[Inspired by Nia.]
[Manifesto submission guidelines are here.] [Manifesto archive is here.]
3 Comments
[Click on image to enlarge/download/print etc. Licensing terms here etc.]
As I write this, I am listening to “Sister Ray” by the Velvet Underground.
Thank you, Dave Mackenzie, for first turning me on to this song, back during that magical summer of ours, back in 1984.
[Recent Conversation:]
Friend: I don’t think you can truly understand The Velvet Underground until you’ve lived in New York for at least a year.
Hugh: I’d say the same is true for Charlie Parker.
Funnily enough, I first heard of Charlie Parker, hanging out with Dave in the now-defunct Edinburgh Wine Bar in Hanover Street, back in 1985. While Dave was busy hitting on some girls, I got into a long conversation with this old jazz enthusiast, who enlightened me. I was on a real Coleman Hawkins kick at the time. The rest is history etc.
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This is my favorite new blog for a while:
“Art, Advertising, Sex + Technology”
Ummmm.… who does THAT remind you of? Heh.
Thanks, Ariel. Damn glad to meet you etc.
[Another good recent find:] “Waiter Rant”. The title is self-explanitory.
January 6, 2007
13 Comments
[This cartoon is one of my old favorites.]
Based on some some thoughts she had after reading my recent post about super-smart women and dating, Nia Andino sent me this one:
Overachieving women and love.
1. No one can tell you how to find a partner. Don’t ask for advice: every case is different and if you listen to other people’s love advice, you’ll end up feeling guilty and confused. This includes this manifesto.
2. This is not the 1950’s. This is not Cinderella. This is the real world and having a partner is like having a car: it has advantages AND disadvantages, and whatever the marketing makes you think, the fact that you want one does not mean you need one.
Now, for women who are already with someone.
3. Ask yourself if you want the rest of your life to be exactly like the last six months. If the asnwer is yes, congratulations. If the answer is no, break up with him today. You are not going to make him change.
4. You have increasing chances of making more money than your partner. Don’t fool yourself: he cares. He hates it. Maybe in a generation, children will get used to the idea that mommies sometimes earn more than daddies. In the meantime, be very discreet and get yourself a pension plan. Your extra money will be invisible that way, and besides, the statistics say you are going to outlive him, so the savings will come him handy in 30 years.
Thanks, Nia!
[Manifesto submission guidelines are here.] [Manifesto archive is here.]
[Bonus Link:] Some very dry humor from John Dodds.
January 3, 2007
3 Comments
Thanks to Matthew Homann for this one, which was originally published here:
The Lawyer’s Client Manifesto
1. You have wants. You have needs. Focus on the needs first. Wants are bonus.
2. If you are seeing a lawyer because your dispute is “not about the money, but about the principle of the thing” don’t be surprised if your lawyer runs away. You can never be satisfied. Also, it’s really about the money.
3. Your case/matter is the most important thing happening to you right now. It is not the most important thing happening to your lawyer right now. It may not even be in his top ten.
4. If you think your lawyer is trying to kill your deal, remember this: though there may only be a “one percent” chance your deal will go bad, your lawyer sees that “one percent” over and over again. She’s looking out for you. She cares about you and your business. She also doesn’t want her malpractice premiums to go up.
5. You want to buy results, not time. Most lawyers sell time, not results. Make sure you both understand the difference before your first bill arrives. You will certainly understand the difference after.
6. If you want to find a lawyer who sells results, look hard. There are a few of them out there. They are the ones who can still smile because they get to see their children before 9:00 at night.
7. Big firm lawyers are not more efficient. Or smarter. Or cheaper. They are certainly not cheaper.
8. Make sure your lawyer understands your business. If your lawyer doesn’t understand your business, find out if he’s going to learn about it on his time, or yours.
9. You are your lawyer’s boss. You are not her only boss. She has hundreds of other bosses too. Each one of them thinks their matter is more important than yours.
10. How messy is your lawyer’s desk? When they bill you for thirty minutes of “file review,” how much of that time was spent looking for your file?
11. When you call a lawyer for the first time, how long does it take for him to return your calls? After you hire that lawyer, expect it to take at least three times as long. Same goes for e-mails.
12. Does your lawyer have reputation for being a “bulldog?” That probably means they are an asshole. To everyone.
13. Look for a lawyer with a technology IQ no more than fifty points less than yours. If you live in e-mail and your lawyer doesn’t, learn to like your mail carrier.
14. If you hate your lawyer, fire him. He probably deserves it, and you aren’t getting his best work anyway.
15. You wouldn’t automatically marry the first person you date, so don’t automatically hire the first lawyer you see. A great lawyer-client relationship can last a lifetime. Your lawyer can be your advisor, counselor, confidant, and friend. Find one you like, stick with him or her, and spread the word. Oh, and stop telling lawyer jokes. They aren’t really that funny. 
[Manifesto submission guidelines are here.] [Manifesto archive is here.]
3 Comments
On the Saatchi & Saatchi Lovemarks homepage they have a little invite for readers to “Join the community”. Ummmm… Community? What community? [See chart above]
Two years ago I spent a bit of time panning the whole “Lovemarks” idea [e.g. “The Lovemarks-Cluetrain Deathmatch”]. So much so that I heard well-sourced rumors that I was allegedly pissing off some very senior people within the organization etc.
Now I see Kevin Roberts, CEO of Saatchi’s has come up with a sequel: “The Lovemarks Effect”. Fair enough. The first book, “Lovemarks”, was theory. This one, I understand, is more concerned with application.
No, I’m not going to start another anti-Lovemarks meme. Here’s why:
1. Though I might have issues with Saatchi’s advertising-centric execution, basically I think Kevin is right. Yes, in fact, all you need is love after all. That’s pretty much what I said at Le Web 3 last month:
This market and communication transition we’re going through is not about technology, and it sure as hell isn’t about marketing. It’s about Love. Love enabled. Love re-asserting itself in the business between people.
2. I’m not quite so “anti” advertising as I used to be. When all is said and done, advertising is just a subset of marketing. And all marketing is, is finding ways to sell stuff, better than your competition. And nothing wrong with wanting to make a living.
So I was grateful to Edelman’s David Brain for pointing me to a recent video interview of Kevin Roberts, where he talks about how The Love Thing affects what he does for a living, how it affects the future of branding etc. There is food for thought there, certainly.
Note how the official Saatchi’s line is now “We’re an ideas company, not an advertising agency”. Again, I think that is sound thinking. They’ve seen the writing on the wall, and they’re working like hell to evolve away from the big-media-world-domination model they grew up with, and towards something more useful and meaningful. With any luck, they’ll succeed, but only if they can understand “The Porous Membrane” idea, and not fall into the trap of “Bagelnomics”.
As I’m fond of saying, I believe the future of advertising is internal. It’s hard to get the customer to love the company, if the company doesn’t love the company.
Whether big companies like Saatchi’s can evolve fully into this new mindset, or whether they’ll be replaced by younger, hungrier companies that understand it better, only time will tell. But the market for selling isn’t going anywhere soon… and therein lies the opportunity.
[Bonus Link:] From 2 years ago. “Dinosaurspeak”:
gapingvoid is the perfect website to get your daily blogging fix. Filled to the brim with hilarious cartoons, it also offers timely and insightful commentary on the new realities of advertising and marketing. Indeed, some people would say it’s just not the blogosphere without gapingvoid to enhance their quality blogging experience. Start your day the switched on way– subscribe here to get gapingvoid on your RSS feeder today!
January 2, 2007
24 Comments
…When all you’re trying to do is be a good boyfriend/girlfriend/lover etc, and all the other person seems to want to do is drive you nuts?
Is there’s some kind of “It’s imperative that I drive your nuts” gene that we inherited from the chimps? Were chimps ever that crazy? What’s the deal with that?
Also, a female friend asked me this last night:
Why is it that so many super-smart women invariably insist on being smart in every aspect of their life, EXCEPT when it comes to dating?
“Hi, sorry, but you’re not STUPID or DAMAGED or POVERTY-STRICKEN or INEFFECTUAL enough for me. Get lost.“
Here’s my short answer: Females are generally not encouraged by society to be super-smart, at least, not overtly. And ESPECIALLY not in the techie/geeky super-smart way.
So as a result, by the time these super-smart young girl geeks have grown up to be women, society will have managed to inject them with all sorts of serious self-esteem issues. Which rarely comes in handy in the mate-choosing department.
Just my opinion.
January 1, 2007
16 Comments
1. I dislike you intensely.
2. I love it when bad things happen to you.
3. When your name is mentioned I immediately try to change the subject.
4. I wouldn’t read your blog if you paid me.
5. If we were trapped on a desert island together I would kill myself.
[Link One.] [Link Two.]
1 Comment
Danny V. sent me this manifesto, however it came without a URL:
The End-User Manifesto
Things that need to be in the mind of anyone building software, particularly for the Web.
1. Don’t waste my time.
2. Help me do the right thing.
3. Respect my decisions.
4. Design well, and guide me to make the right decisions by that design.
5. Don’t lie to me — if I see something in front of me, then I should be able to act on it unless the interface tells me I can’t.
5.1. If I see a text area, I expect to be able to type as much as that text area holds.
Scrollbars indicate to me that it is bigger than can be displayed in the space available, and I’m ok with that up to a point.
If there’s a character limit, show me that by stopping me from typing past a certain point.mIf there are limits on the types of characters I can enter, tell me that before I move on to something else.
6. Keep your pop-ups to yourself. The only thing that’s helpful in a pop-up format is your help system, where I can learn something without losing my place.
7. Advertising.
7.1. I have music, thanks. No sound effects or music with your advertisements, if you must have them.
7.2. No flashing colors, mini-videos, strobing effects, blinking idiot cartoons, or anything else that’s the equivalent of yelling at me.
7.3. Don’t confuse loud with appropriate. Google appears to understand context and content, and shows things that are SOMEHOW RELATED to what I’m doing. No, I will never want a mortgage from you.
8. Get to the point. Put the focus of your page on what I’m looking there to learn, not on someone else’s advertising with your information hidden below the flashing duck.
9. I can print things without your assistance. When I click on “Printer-friendly”, I really just want a page of the text I’m interested in saving to my computer without the blinking advertisements.
10. W3C standards compliance. How I get to your site is my decision. No, I’m not buying a specific type of computer just to fill out your form because you decided that ActiveX components were the quick way out of the development cycle. If you’re going to be Web-based, then attempt to understand that the Web is not yours.
11. Test your stuff. I’m not your employee, and you’re not paying me to test your site or your software. Please re-read 1 – 4 above.
12. Please also proof-read what you’ve written, or have someone else do so.
13. Keep the noise level lower by not using animated graphics to illustrate your mood, or plug you into social networks. Yes, kids in junior high think it’s cute, but it gets very old very quickly.
14. Tell me a compelling story. This applies to weblogs, corporate sites, fan sites, any site. I’m visiting you to learn something, even if it’s just a good story about something you’re selling or the day you had. Good stories inspire conversations, and markets are built on those.
Thanks, Danny!
[gapingvoid manifesto submission guidelines are here.] [Manifesto archive is here.]
December 31, 2006
3 Comments
Sigurd thinks budgets aren’t as useful as a lot of people think:
Measurable results is the cornerstone of the command-and-control structure, the rallying cry for “good” management. But measurable has no meaning unless you have something to measure against, thus the budget — the naivety scene of the future.
Real life corrective measures using a fictitious map — what value does that have? None whatsoever of course.
Worse, it becomes a pacifier, an ersatz reality, naivety embodied.
I cannot wait to hear Dennis’ response. Heh.
Talking on the phone with Sigurd tonight, he tells me there’s a cultural shift going on with Thingamy. Away from IT people, more towards people who actually run businesses. The latter seem to have less trouble getting their heads around Thingamy than the former.
Creating apps and creating value are not the same thing. Imagine that.
[Disclosure: I have a small stake in Thingamy.]
7 Comments
[A Quintura search cloud for “gapingvoid”.]
About a month ago at one of these geek parties I met a young Russian chap named Yakov Sadchikov. I liked Yakov.
It turns out Yakov is a very bright guy. He’s got this new search engine start-up called Quintura. And there’s a Kid’s Quintura as well.
Quintura is pretty clever because it arranges its search results in tag clouds. “Visualised Search”, as it were. I’ve been playing around with it these last few weeks.
Do I like it? Sure. Do I like it so much that I’ve stopped using Google as a result? No. But anyone who does even a half-decent job of trying to move “Search” forward gets my respect. So hats off to Yakov.
Michael Arrington recently wrote that Google will have to still live up to its famous “Don’t be evil” tagline, even though now they have tons of money, with lots of advertisers and shareholders to keep happy.
I’ll believe it when I see it. Google is no longer in the search business, Google is now in the cash cow business. And money, like Cyndi Lauper once sang, changes everything.
Maybe they should change their tagline to “Don’t be THAT evil”. More believable, somehow.
5 Comments
I’m having a blissfully slow week. Reading books, listening to jazz records, and strolling up to Notting Hill once a day to grab some dinner. That is my current life in a nutshell.
This phase won’t last forever, of course. People will start getting back in town after tomorrow and I’ll soon be busy again. But I’m enjoying the peace and quiet while it lasts.
No, I’m not doing anything for New Year’s Eve. Staying in and going to bed early, that is the plan. I loathe starting the year with a hangover.
My main professional goal for 2007 is testing my theories of “Ooze” i.e. Objects of Sociability to their limits. My first salvo with this will hopefully be the “Blue Monster” thing I’ve got going with Microsoft.
My long-term professional goal is to get Stormhoek to a point where it’s shipping a million cases a year [We’re already quarter of the way there, so it seems doable].
I am no longer interested in being a “professional blogger”, whatever that means. I like blogs, blogging and bloggers, but I think we’re in “post-revolution” times now. The train has already left the station. If you managed to get a seat on it, great. If not, it’s not that big a deal, either. There are plenty of other good ways of expressing yourself. Succeeding at that is far more important than what precise method you use.
Another long-term goal of mine is to spend my winters in Antibes, say, two to four months per year. I’ve already looked into renting a place down there in January, 2008. It’s surprisingly cheap in the off-season.
Lord knows what’s going to happen with the cartoons. Since I first came up with the “cartoon on the back of business cards” format in December, 1997, I’ve drawn well over 5,000 of them. I often wonder how long I can keep it going for. You’d think after so many, I’d finally run out of things to say, run out of pictures I want to make. But that point in time still remains elusive.
I’ve drawn a ton of them in the last week. I’ll be posting some of them soon…
All in all, 2006 was a very good year. But it wasn’t an easy one. Lots of stress. I suppose once the Stormhoek gig gets to critical mass I can relax more. Until then I shall remain my usual monomaniacal self.
The highlight of my year was, of course, simply getting to know all these wonderfully interesting people, through my work and elsewhere. This to me is the greatest benefit of being a blogger, above all else. Human Beings are amazing creatures, and I must say I’m grateful to be one.
Have a Happy New Year, Everybody!
December 29, 2006
9 Comments
Thanks to Dennis Howlett for this one:
The “Nobody Cares” Manifesto For Accountants
* It’s important to remember debits are on the left and credits on the right — nobody cares. Probably because the system was invented in 1494 and hasn’t changed since.
* We work hard to earn letters behind our names — nobody cares. Importance isn’t derived from academic achievement but what you do for others.
* ROI is an important concept — nobody cares. ROI calculations are something you do when you really don’t want to help your client but to demonstrate to him/her how important you are. For which read 2.
* It’s important to keep good records — nobody cares. Clients aren’t in business to be administrators. If you can’t figure out how to help clients then expect to be outsourced. Probably the day after tomorrow.
* A tidy office implies a tidy mind — nobody cares. A tidy mind is often compartmentalised to the point of tunnel vision. You don’t see tidy at the edge of innovation. Which is where you should be when your clients come up with great ideas.
* Professionals should always wear top quality suits — nobody cares. How you look may be important if your name’s Anina but it sure as heck doesn’t matter when you’re traipsing around a pig farm. You do that occasionally don’t you?
* Your professional status among the community demonstrates integrity — nobody believes you. Professional status is over-rated. Those schmuks from KPMG in court on fraud charges sorted that one out once and for all.
* Adding value is the most important thing you have to do — nobody believes you. Clients can read a 1,000 websites and see that same vacuuous statement. Stuff your website with client stories, preferably written by clients and not some PR outfit.
[gapingvoid manifesto submission guidelines are here.][Manifesto archive is here.]
2 Comments
Scoble is videoing the John Edwards presidential campaign. Podtech is picking up the tab.
I see it as a smart move. Scoble/Podtech will most likely get some national exposure on TV from all this [if they don’t I’ll be REALLY surprised], for a lot less money than running commercials.
December 28, 2006
23 Comments
B. L. Ochman sees another Edelman scandal brewing:
Edelman Has New Ethics Scandal Brewing With Microsoft’s Blogger Bribe Campaign
Edelman PR, the folks who brought you Wal-mart flogs, has a new ethics scandal brewing. And this time they’re in bed with Microsoft and a group of high-profile bloggers.
Edelman, is handling the launch of the new Microsoft Vista OS, and they’re running, and probably also conceived, a campaign to give a group of bloggers free Acer Ferrari 1000 and 5000 notebooks loaded with Microsoft’s new Vista. Retail value — $1899.99 — $2,299.99 for the computer, plus the cost of the software.
A group of high-profile bloggers started getting the gifts several days ago. Robert Scoble quipped, “Talk about Pay Per Post.”
Having both received and given out free stuff in the blogosphere, I’m not sure if I see what the big deal is. I certainly don’t have trouble with it ethically, as long as all parties are being upfront about it. And it seems like they are to me.
My experience with blogger product campaigns tells me that, if you’re just trying to turn bloggers into product pimps, you will fail. But if you see it as a way of starting interesting conversations with equally interesting people, your chances of succeeding are far greater.
As I’m fond of saying, a well-executed blogging campaign is an act of love. I personally know both Edelman and Microsoft well enough to know they understand this. So good luck to them.
1 Comment
My friend Shel Israel, co-author of the seminal blogging book, Naked Conversations, is working on a new book:
Global Neighborhoods
–How Social Media are moving power from institutions to people
Here’s the overview.
These are global neighborhoods. They may not be tangible, but they are far from virtual.
Real people separated by miles, oceans and political borders are connecting with others of like mind. They are conducting a great deal of business, making decisions based on the influence of peers rather than marketing campaigns. In a few cases, friendships are being formed between people whose governments are waging hostilities. Even the profound barrier of diverse language is being lowered by the universal communications abilities of music and pictures.
Good luck, Shel!
December 27, 2006
12 Comments
[Originally posted exactly two years ago today]
You lie for a living.
You’re not a bad person, not really, but telling the truth at your current company tends to get people fired.
And you can’t afford to be fired. You’re thirty seven, you’ve got three kids, you’ve got a big house to pay for, your wife would leave you within nanoseconds if the cashflow ever dried up, and it’s been well over over a decade since a cute, random girl in the street looked at you with anything even faintly resembling a sparkle in her eye.
Society only needs you because they need the product your company makes. Lose the job and you are no longer needed.
Without your job you’re just a mere stain.
So lying equals survival.
You have to lie because you have no other ideas about how not to be killed. How not to lose everything.
Lying replaced ideas long ago. Lying replaced great sex long ago. Lying replaced your marriage long ago. Lying replaced joy long ago.
Your lies became the painless cancer.
Yes, I’ve read your resume. Very impressive.
Look, I already said I’d get back to you next week.
4 Comments
1. I usually carry two wee tins around with me. One for blank business cards, and one for completed drawings. I usually have a minimum of two or three pens on me– they’re quite temperamental things, so I like having backup etc.
2. Here’s a stack of 25 or so new drawings, all done in the last few days.…
3. Beer! Hurrah!
4. Bars are good for drawing. So is Starbuck’s. Japanese restaurants I usually find very productive.
5. To this day, I have no idea where ideas come from. I gave up trying to predict inspiration years ago.
6. Getting your hands on one of my originals is getting harder. I don’t give them out like I used to.
7. Success is also a curse.
8. I agree. Cartoons are so much cooler than laptops.
9. The romantic notion of inebriated, boozed-up artist is a load of crock.
10. Bankers talk about art. Artists talk about money.
11. Silicon Valley is far more interesting than Chelsea.
3 Comments
Steve Clayton announces the winners of the “Blue Monster” lithograph.
I was in my local pub four days ago, hanging out with an old acquaintance. Another guy walks in, an American who my friend knows, who I’ve never met before. We get talking. Eventually the American asks me what I do for a living. I mention the “blogging” thing.
“Really?” he says. “My company is a Microsoft partner. There’s a blogger I know who works there, named Steve Clayton…“
Small world.
[Meanwhile:] Jim Nice, one of the first bloggers I ever met online, was shopping in South Florida the other day, where he stumbled across a bottle of Stormhoek in the supermarket. Rock on.
December 26, 2006
3 Comments
A great YouTube video of Duke Ellington’s band playing “The Mooche”.
The Ellington Band is a great example of an organization that was [1] totally great, [2] totally original and [3] totally professional. These guys just didn’t mess around.
Anybody who doubts Ellington’s genius as a pianist should go check out his 1963 “Money Jungle” album. He makes it look so damn easy…
[Bonus Link:] If jazz has an equivalent of “Beethoven’s Ninth”, it would surely have to be Charles Mingus’ “Haitian Fight Song” on “The Clown” album. Here’s a YouTube video for some Japanese high school students making a pretty decent go of it. Rock on.
No Comments
From the London Evening Standard:
Bonus boom fuels £1bn luxury gift spree
Today London’s most expensive retailers said they had never known such strong demand — in contrast to lacklustre sales on high streets elsewhere in Britain.
[…]
In Savile Row sales have risen 10% on last year. Tailors’ shop Henry Poole said it had sold almost 50 bespoke £3,500 dinner jackets in two months. Another tailor, Richard Anderson, said one client had spent £22,000 on two blazers made of Himalayan mountain goat and finished with 22-carat gold buttons.
We’re not exactly complaining at English Cut, either.
2 Comments
From my old high school buddy, SAP guru Hamish:
I came across this article on the DRM in Vista. No much wonder it is late. First they had to build it, then they had to break it.
What this fails to understand is that the idea of a file, a computer, and a user are all metaphors.
001100011001010101100111111000011101010101010100001111100001
All the information is binary, and in the same environment, it is like asking someone to lift themselves by the bootstraps. The notion of imposing the same metaphorical limits, like “this is a file of content, “, “this is an executable”, is like asking matter to divide itself into fire and ice. it may suit your metaphor, but it does not correspond to reality.
1 Comment
This is the big Web 2.0 story over the Christmas break: “Jimmy Wales, the founder of Wikipedia, the online encyclopaedia, is set to launch an internet search engine with amazon.com that he hopes will become a rival to Google and Yahoo!…“
Lots of bloggers have been talking about it, but I like Dave Winer’s take on it the best:
Today Google’s profits come from ads, and that business gives them a reason to keep search weak. They want you to do a lot of searching to find what you’re looking for — and the stuff they find for you for free is competing with the stuff they make money on. So Google actually has a disincentive to make search better.
[Bonus Link from Fred Wilson:] Web 2.0 Is A Gift, Not A Threat, To VCs.
December 24, 2006
9 Comments
David Sifry took this picture of me back in Paris a couple of weeks ago. I suppose I’ve looked worse. Thanks, Dave! [Click on image to enlarge etc.]
[Music:] Been listening to this album all night. Cat Stevens meets Lloyd Cole meets William Blake. Amazing. Genius.
December 23, 2006
5 Comments
1. It looks like I’ll be based full-time in London for at least for the next two years. Not quite sure what I think about that. But I’m here for the business, not the lifestyle.
2. I feel the conversation I want to have the world is changing. Small is beautiful etc.
3. At last count there are over 1400 unique cartoons uploaded onto gapingvoid.
4. Current books: Re-reading “War And Peace” by Tolstoy, which I first read 12 years ago. Magnificent. “Spitfire. The Biography” by Jonathan Glancey, who’s an old friend of mine. Jonathan’s father flew Spitfires in World War Two. The guy at the bookshop up the road says the book is currently selling like hotcakes.
5. 2007 is going to be an insanely busy year for Stormhoek. I get tired just thinking about it.
6. New Year’s Resolutions: Quit smoking [Ha!]. Join a decent gym [I used to train at free weights and Kung Fu quite avidly back in my New York days, and wouldn’t mind getting the ol’ mojo back].
7. I’ve been drawing a lot on paper recently. Will start uploading some new stuff next week, once I get access to my scanner. Recently I’ve gone off drawing on the Tablet PC. Though the latter is a wonderfully versatile tool, it lacks a certain magic.
8. In the last year the main focus of my career has switched from building gapingvoid up, to what I call “shipping cases”. Unlike web stats, how many cases of Stormhoek shipped in any given time period are EXTREMELY easy to measure.
9. Unlike a lot of people with relatively well-known blogs, I am not a consultant. I have no day rate. When people ask me to get involved with their projects, the quid pro quo is helping Stormhoek “ship cases”, otherwise it’s hard to get me too interested. The only exceptions to this are English Cut and Thingamy, which I treat mostly as side projects. Stormhoek I treat as my main day job.
3 Comments
From JP Rangaswami:
And that got me thinking. As we move to an age where the only true advertisements are recommendations, what is the role of the traditional advertisement going forward?
2 Comments
From Sigurd:
Noted that Microsoft is coming out with a software update to make the Zune compatible with Vista. Good for them.
The patch is 22 Mb.
Thingamy is 14 Mb.
With Zune you can play some music, with Thingamy you can run Microsoft.
Are they paid by line-of-code in Seattle?
[Disclosure: I have a small stake in Thingamy.]
December 22, 2006
1 Comment
Good stuff. David Armano gives us his “Holiday Manifesto”. Here’s a taster:
Stay away from malls
Gather around a table
Re-discover family tradition
Re-live fond memories
Forget bad ones
Play with a toy
Play chess with a friend
Just play
Spike the Eggnog
Think of someone in need
[gapingvoid manifesto submission guidelines are here.][Manifesto archive is here.]
2 Comments
I’m back in London for Christmas.
I’m house-sitting for a friend and looking after her cat while she spends Xmas in America.
It’ll be a quiet couple of weeks. Everyone clears out of town for the holidays.
December 21, 2006
16 Comments
I’m thinking a lot these days about what I call “Unique Currency”.
Background: With what I’m doing doing professionally, the Stormhoek story isn’t just about the wine in the bottle. It’s a hybrid. It’s also about the blogger dinners, the Thresher virus, the Techcrunch prints etc etc.
This allows us to have something rather unique in the marketplace. Wine plus Hughtrain equals something unique to trade.
“Unique Currencies” are a good thing to have. Without it my business would be dead. Indeed.
So fast forward to earlier this week. I was talking to an old advertising buddy of mine, Eric, who left the business over 10 years ago to pursue a career in TV animation.
To make a long story short, after a decade in the business he’s contemplating leaving it altogether, and going back into advertising. He feels he’s gotten everything out of TV that he wanted, and thinks there’s some opportunities in the ad business that he could make good use of.
So I said to Eric, “Well, above all else use something from what you’ve learned in the TV business, in order to create your own ‘unique currency’ within the ad industry. Otherwise you’re just one more schmuck advertising creative over the age of 35, looking for a gig. The market is already flooded with those guys. And they rarely have an easy time of it. There’s just too many people chasing advertising work out there. Brutal. Miserable. Don’t even think of going there.“
“My thoughts exactly,” said Eric.
Whatever business you work in, whether you’re an employee or have your own business, you have a currency that you trade in. The more unique your currency, the easier time you’ll have of things. And no, we’re not talking “money”, “labor” or “service”.
We’re talking about something far more indirect and mysterious. This is what The Global Microbrand is all about.
I think “Unique Currency” matters more and more in the circles I travel in. You?
2 Comments
From Podtech’s “The Scoble Show”:
What happens when we get a bunch of geeks get together on a Friday afternoon in London? The “Pissed as Newts” tour! Here’s a small part of the tour (we visited five pubs). You get to watch Hugh MacLeod draw one of his famous little drawings on the backs of business cards for his blog at www.gapingvoid.com. In the background are about 20 London geeks. The rest of the tour? It was off the record. 
In the second half of the video, we speak with Hugh during a London taxi ride — you’ll also meet software developer Sarah Blow, founder of Girl Geek Dinners — where we have a fun conversation.
Thanks, Scoble. It was a fun afternoon. And I thought you did a great job of filming it all.
It was kinda cool, showing Savile Row to all these geeks.
[BONUS VIDEO:] Maryam Scoble interviews Sarah Blow about how the Girl Geek Dinners came about.
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