It Takes Empathy

[Today’s guest post, “It Takes Empathy” is from my good friend, Brian Solis, co-principal at Alti­me­ter Group and author of the book, “The End Of Busi­ness As Usual”.]

If you look at the pic­ture above, you might see a sun­set. Some of you will see a sun­rise. Much like the famous phi­lo­sophi­cal dis­course bet­ween skep­tics and opti­mists, a glass can only be either half empty or half full. I believe nonethe­less
that the above pic­ture is that of a sun­rise. I’m an opti­mist. I also believe that a glass is reflec­tive of its current state. Either you just pou­red into or pou­red out of it.

Other­wise, it’s a glass with water sit­ting at the half-way mark.

This theo­re­ti­cal circle of dis­sen­sion is cons­tant and without the abi­lity to achieve clo­sure or satis­fac­tion. It all comes down to perspective.

That’s why in a time where we’re acti­vely pushed out of our com­fort zones, pers­pec­tive is a power­ful enabler.

For those strug­gling with where to steer the ship of trans­for­ma­tion, this is for you.

What it is you see. What it is you feel. Where it is you want to go and why. These are the things that mat­ter. The gift of pers­pec­tive is matched only by the gift of per­se­ve­rance. As you seek to change or improve “what is” and set out to bring “what could be” to life, you will be met by the cham­pions of medioc­rity who do not wish to align with your vision. Remem­ber, it is pas­sion and per­sis­tence that out­lasts resis­tance. But, it takes cou­rage… It takes cou­rage to endea­vor in a new direc­tion where you’re grea­test allies, pas­sion, hope, vision and opti­mism, are con­se­quen­tial yet intan­gi­ble. Their value howe­ver, is well, in the eye, heart, and mind of the beholder.

Change is inver­ti­ble. But, how change “chan­ges” your rea­lity isn’t as expli­cit or defi­ned as it is affec­ted by evo­lu­tio­nary for­ces of which you play an impor­tant part.

I find that the har­der I work, the more luck I seem to have” –Tho­mas Jefferson

There’s a dif­fe­rence bet­ween mana­ge­ment and lea­dership. There’s a dif­fe­rence bet­ween pio­nee­ring and follo­wing. There’s a dif­fe­rence bet­ween explo­ring pos­si­bi­li­ties and cha­sing them.

This is a time when there are more ques­tions than ans­wers. You are not alone, howe­ver. For without ques­tions, we wan­der through life assu­ming we either already have the ans­wers or we unde­res­ti­mate the value of rethin­king what we know.
Direc­tion, ins­pi­ra­tion, need, aspi­ra­tion… these are indi­vi­dually or collec­ti­vely among the emo­tio­nal dri­vers that become catalysts for change. The minute you say the word “emo­tion” howe­ver, your mis­sion or case sud­denly suf­fers or loses crediblity.

Emo­tions are after all, soft, intan­gi­ble, and in of them­sel­ves, not true sparks for trans­for­ma­tion right? Wrong.

Let me ask you something…

How are you?

I have a point, I promise.

Again, how are you?

To ans­wer, you might say, “fine,” “good” or “well thanks for asking.” The exchange is more of a casual ice-breaker of sorts and not neces­sa­rily a genuine invi­ta­tion to share any form of emo­tio­nal depth. The ques­tion is often rele­ga­ted to a ver­bal handshake, a neces­sary ritual to begin a con­ver­sa­tion. That’s my point. Today, orga­ni­za­tions in large part, take emo­tion for gran­ted. “How was our ser­vice today?”

It’s a super­fi­cial exchange that sets impres­sions for the moment rather than inves­ting in long-term experiences.

Now, what if I asked you, “how are you feeling?”

Add one word and you unlock a vault of emo­tion and valua­ble dia­lo­gue. In a social eco­nomy where paying it for­ward and reci­pro­city serve as the currency of rela­tionships, emo­tio­nal exchan­ges form strong ties. It takes asking, lis­te­ning, and res­pon­ding to ins­till trust and a sense of mea­ning into any enga­ge­ment. What you walk away with howe­ver is pri­ce­less; for you now have felt empathy. And, empathy is the sec­ret ingre­dient to fee­ling the need for transformation…the ins­pi­ra­tion to find a crea­tive or pas­sio­nate spark to design new and sig­ni­fi­cant experiences.

The key for you howe­ver, is to pac­kage what it is you feel and trans­late it into a set of rela­ta­ble and rele­vant objec­ti­ves, prag­ma­tic steps in how to achieve them, and defi­ned metrics that demons­trate pro­gress and per­for­mance. Your ins­pi­ra­tion will at some point ins­pire others around you and they will feel it as a result of your work.

The truth is that the ans­wers you seek lie in enga­ge­ment, lis­te­ning, and the empathy that sur­fa­ces as a result. Lea­dership unfolds in how you trans­late what you learn and feel into appre­cia­tion and unders­tan­ding. The state of sen­ti­ment as expe­rien­ced and expres­sed by those that mat­ter to you directly corre­la­tes to the state of relationships.

Lea­dership begins with a vision for not only where you want to go, but why it’s impor­tant to those you care about.

In a world where we’re taught the impor­tance of moni­to­ring and mea­su­ring sen­ti­ment with the new tools before us, we miss the essen­tial ingre­dient to mea­ning­ful relationships…empathy. Once you lis­ten, not moni­tor, but truly lis­ten to cus­to­mer acti­vity and observe online beha­vior, you can­not help but feel both empathy and har­mony. And natu­rally, the res­ponse it begets is only human.