December 27, 2006
you lie for a living [revisited]
[Originally posted exactly two years ago today]
You lie for a living.
You’re not a bad person, not really, but telling the truth at your current company tends to get people fired.
And you can’t afford to be fired. You’re thirty seven, you’ve got three kids, you’ve got a big house to pay for, your wife would leave you within nanoseconds if the cashflow ever dried up, and it’s been well over over a decade since a cute, random girl in the street looked at you with anything even faintly resembling a sparkle in her eye.
Society only needs you because they need the product your company makes. Lose the job and you are no longer needed.
Without your job you’re just a mere stain.
So lying equals survival.
You have to lie because you have no other ideas about how not to be killed. How not to lose everything.
Lying replaced ideas long ago. Lying replaced great sex long ago. Lying replaced your marriage long ago. Lying replaced joy long ago.
Your lies became the painless cancer.
Yes, I’ve read your resume. Very impressive.
Look, I already said I’d get back to you next week.
Very salient. So sad but true
Merry Christmas.
This is pretty devastating stuff. Thank you.
i decided to read this post only b/c gawker.com linked me here and am irritated by it’s lack of balance and dearth of indulgent cynicism.
how dare you refer to me in the 2nd person. shame on you for imply we share a collective experience.
That man has brought shame to Art of Lying.
Jaysus Chroist mate! It’s not all THAT bad is it?
Sheesh!
Remarkable ability to describe a vain politician Hugh!
This is too sad because it is true. I am having one of the crummiest birthdays ever.
Jeesh, Hugh. You didn’t have to mention you posted this two years ago. Everyone who read it the first time probably immediately went off to slash their wrists.
A joy-filled holiday season to you, as well.
Hi Hugh,
Season’s Greetings.
I’m new to you blog … great concept.
cheers,
mel.
I love all your cartoons and this one certainly brings up an immediate response. God, we have all worked for, with and thought about being this person.
Hmmm… I don’t remember working with you. But is sounds like you were only a few cubicles down from my office on 7th avenue.…
So I moved to Nebraska!