Archive for December, 2006
December 31, 2006
3 Comments

Sigurd thinks budgets aren’t as useful as a lot of people think:
Measurable results is the cornerstone of the command-and-control structure, the rallying cry for “good” management. But measurable has no meaning unless you have something to measure against, thus the budget — the naivety scene of the future.
Real life corrective measures using a fictitious map — what value does that have? None whatsoever of course.
Worse, it becomes a pacifier, an ersatz reality, naivety embodied.
I cannot wait to hear Dennis’ response. Heh.
Talking on the phone with Sigurd tonight, he tells me there’s a cultural shift going on with Thingamy. Away from IT people, more towards people who actually run businesses. The latter seem to have less trouble getting their heads around Thingamy than the former.
Creating apps and creating value are not the same thing. Imagine that.
[Disclosure: I have a small stake in Thingamy.]
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[A Quintura search cloud for “gapingvoid”.]
About a month ago at one of these geek parties I met a young Russian chap named Yakov Sadchikov. I liked Yakov.
It turns out Yakov is a very bright guy. He’s got this new search engine start-up called Quintura. And there’s a Kid’s Quintura as well.
Quintura is pretty clever because it arranges its search results in tag clouds. “Visualised Search”, as it were. I’ve been playing around with it these last few weeks.
Do I like it? Sure. Do I like it so much that I’ve stopped using Google as a result? No. But anyone who does even a half-decent job of trying to move “Search” forward gets my respect. So hats off to Yakov.
Michael Arrington recently wrote that Google will have to still live up to its famous “Don’t be evil” tagline, even though now they have tons of money, with lots of advertisers and shareholders to keep happy.
I’ll believe it when I see it. Google is no longer in the search business, Google is now in the cash cow business. And money, like Cyndi Lauper once sang, changes everything.
Maybe they should change their tagline to “Don’t be THAT evil”. More believable, somehow.
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[Click on image to enlarge/download/print etc. Licensing terms here etc.]
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[Click on image to enlarge/download/print etc. Licensing terms here etc.]
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I’m having a blissfully slow week. Reading books, listening to jazz records, and strolling up to Notting Hill once a day to grab some dinner. That is my current life in a nutshell.
This phase won’t last forever, of course. People will start getting back in town after tomorrow and I’ll soon be busy again. But I’m enjoying the peace and quiet while it lasts.
No, I’m not doing anything for New Year’s Eve. Staying in and going to bed early, that is the plan. I loathe starting the year with a hangover.
My main professional goal for 2007 is testing my theories of “Ooze” i.e. Objects of Sociability to their limits. My first salvo with this will hopefully be the “Blue Monster” thing I’ve got going with Microsoft.
My long-term professional goal is to get Stormhoek to a point where it’s shipping a million cases a year [We’re already quarter of the way there, so it seems doable].
I am no longer interested in being a “professional blogger”, whatever that means. I like blogs, blogging and bloggers, but I think we’re in “post-revolution” times now. The train has already left the station. If you managed to get a seat on it, great. If not, it’s not that big a deal, either. There are plenty of other good ways of expressing yourself. Succeeding at that is far more important than what precise method you use.
Another long-term goal of mine is to spend my winters in Antibes, say, two to four months per year. I’ve already looked into renting a place down there in January, 2008. It’s surprisingly cheap in the off-season.
Lord knows what’s going to happen with the cartoons. Since I first came up with the “cartoon on the back of business cards” format in December, 1997, I’ve drawn well over 5,000 of them. I often wonder how long I can keep it going for. You’d think after so many, I’d finally run out of things to say, run out of pictures I want to make. But that point in time still remains elusive.
I’ve drawn a ton of them in the last week. I’ll be posting some of them soon…
All in all, 2006 was a very good year. But it wasn’t an easy one. Lots of stress. I suppose once the Stormhoek gig gets to critical mass I can relax more. Until then I shall remain my usual monomaniacal self.
The highlight of my year was, of course, simply getting to know all these wonderfully interesting people, through my work and elsewhere. This to me is the greatest benefit of being a blogger, above all else. Human Beings are amazing creatures, and I must say I’m grateful to be one.
Have a Happy New Year, Everybody!
December 29, 2006
10 Comments

It’s been a busy year for Stormhoek.
December 29th, 2005 [one year ago exactly]: “Blogging Doubled Stormhoek Sales In Less Than Twelve Months.”
When I first started working with Stormhoek in May, 2005, they were tracking about 50,000 cases sold per year. By year’s end that figure had doubled to 100,000. Right now we’ve doubled again, to just over 200,000 cases a year. By Second Quarter 2007 we’re on schedule to be tracking around 250,000 cases shipped per year.
So that’s looking like a five-fold increase in sales in less than two years. And it wouldn’t have happened without the blogosphere, which is at the very epicenter of everything we do. Thanks, Everybody!
And on to 2006:
January 10th: “So what comes after The Cluetrain? Companies gladly and willingly allowing themselves to be actually changed by The Cluetrain. But don’t hold your breath.”
January 17th: Decanter Magazine picks up on the “Blogging Doubles Sales” story.
January 28th: An exec at one of our largest customers, a supermarket chain, refers to all this blogging stuff as “Chatroom Rubbish”. I believe he’s modified his opinions since then. Just a tad.
February 11th: Stormhoek launches the “100 Dinners” idea. Basically, we convince people to throw their own geek dinners all around the United States, and blog about it. Stormhoek supplied the wine. Though the story never really broke into the mainstream media [that would’ve been nice], it got a lot of attention within the US wine trade, which was very good for us.
February 26th: The Stormhoek blogging story makes it into The Daily Telegraph, one of the big national UK papers.
April 10th: I launch the gapingvoid widget, bandwidth sponsored by Stormhoek.
April 29: I announce the first Stormhoek cartoon labels, to be drawn by myself. You can see the results of my efforts here.
May 1st. The very first US Stormhoek Geek Dinner is held in San Antonio. I design my first set of limited edition prints for the occasion.
May 16th: Stormhoek gets a really nice write-up in wine.co.za, a very influential website in in the South African wine world.
May 17th: Stormhoek wins its first major trade award. The Drinks Business’ “Best Consumer Campaign 2006″.
June 5th: Spent the day in London, signing the first batch of Stormhoek “puppy” lithographs, which went on to become a very successful series.
June 27th: “The Stormhoek Guide to Wine Blogging”. This got printed up as wee booklets, as trade press inserts. I loved this project.
June 29th: Stormhoek has become “The Official Wine of Silicon Valley Alcoholics”, according to Valleywag.
July 7th: Jason and I make our first attempt at video podcasting, with a little help from Johnnie Moore and Lloyd Davis.
July 7th: Stormhoek makes a big appearance in Chicago.
July 19th: Stormhoek discovers “Ooze” aka “Objects of Sociability”.
July 25th. Rob Lane writes “The Stormhoek Song”.
August 5th: I publish my very first Stormhoek cartoon label.
August 10th: I sign my first batch of Techcrunch party lithographs.
August 15th: “It isn’t just about the marketing.” Stormhoek Pinotage wins a seriously major wine award.
August 18th: The lithographs make a huge splash at the big Techcrunch Party in Silicon Valley.
August 25th: Stormhoek is now available in SF and Silicon Valley.
August 31st: The Techcrunch prints start appearing on e-Bay. Prices start exceeding $175. Yowza.
September 27th: Stormhoek launches the “Siren” series, our more upmarket wine, conceived by crowdsourcing the blogosphere.
October 6th: Stormhoek Siren sponsors the Hallam Foe bloggers’ dinner. My favorite UK bloggers got see a rough cut of the movie and meet the director, my old pal, David Mackenzie.
October 18th: 1,000 lithographs were made for the Techcrunch UK launch party.
October 26th: Tom Raftery asks me all about Stormhoek, for the it@cork podcast.
October 30th: I create the “Blue Monster” design for Microsoft. This is probably my favorite Stormhoek project so far, especially as it seems to have gotten a lot of traction internally in Redmond.
November 17th: Stormhoek and myself make it on to AdAge.com’s “Marketing 50″. I know industry awards are usually a bit suspect, but this one meant the world to me.
November 24th: Stormhoek creates “The Thresher Virus”. Within a week it has made the national news.
December 13th: The Microsoft “Blue Monster” lithographs arrive. Microsoft’s Steve Clayton was well pleased.
[Update:] This post got a mention on Techmeme. Interesting…
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Thanks to Dennis Howlett for this one:
The “Nobody Cares” Manifesto For Accountants
* It’s important to remember debits are on the left and credits on the right — nobody cares. Probably because the system was invented in 1494 and hasn’t changed since.
* We work hard to earn letters behind our names — nobody cares. Importance isn’t derived from academic achievement but what you do for others.
* ROI is an important concept — nobody cares. ROI calculations are something you do when you really don’t want to help your client but to demonstrate to him/her how important you are. For which read 2.
* It’s important to keep good records — nobody cares. Clients aren’t in business to be administrators. If you can’t figure out how to help clients then expect to be outsourced. Probably the day after tomorrow.
* A tidy office implies a tidy mind — nobody cares. A tidy mind is often compartmentalised to the point of tunnel vision. You don’t see tidy at the edge of innovation. Which is where you should be when your clients come up with great ideas.
* Professionals should always wear top quality suits — nobody cares. How you look may be important if your name’s Anina but it sure as heck doesn’t matter when you’re traipsing around a pig farm. You do that occasionally don’t you?
* Your professional status among the community demonstrates integrity — nobody believes you. Professional status is over-rated. Those schmuks from KPMG in court on fraud charges sorted that one out once and for all.
* Adding value is the most important thing you have to do — nobody believes you. Clients can read a 1,000 websites and see that same vacuuous statement. Stuff your website with client stories, preferably written by clients and not some PR outfit.
[gapingvoid manifesto submission guidelines are here.][Manifesto archive is here.]
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Scoble is videoing the John Edwards presidential campaign. Podtech is picking up the tab.
I see it as a smart move. Scoble/Podtech will most likely get some national exposure on TV from all this [if they don’t I’ll be REALLY surprised], for a lot less money than running commercials.
December 28, 2006
23 Comments

B. L. Ochman sees another Edelman scandal brewing:
Edelman Has New Ethics Scandal Brewing With Microsoft’s Blogger Bribe Campaign
Edelman PR, the folks who brought you Wal-mart flogs, has a new ethics scandal brewing. And this time they’re in bed with Microsoft and a group of high-profile bloggers.
Edelman, is handling the launch of the new Microsoft Vista OS, and they’re running, and probably also conceived, a campaign to give a group of bloggers free Acer Ferrari 1000 and 5000 notebooks loaded with Microsoft’s new Vista. Retail value — $1899.99 — $2,299.99 for the computer, plus the cost of the software.
A group of high-profile bloggers started getting the gifts several days ago. Robert Scoble quipped, “Talk about Pay Per Post.”
Having both received and given out free stuff in the blogosphere, I’m not sure if I see what the big deal is. I certainly don’t have trouble with it ethically, as long as all parties are being upfront about it. And it seems like they are to me.
My experience with blogger product campaigns tells me that, if you’re just trying to turn bloggers into product pimps, you will fail. But if you see it as a way of starting interesting conversations with equally interesting people, your chances of succeeding are far greater.
As I’m fond of saying, a well-executed blogging campaign is an act of love. I personally know both Edelman and Microsoft well enough to know they understand this. So good luck to them.
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My friend Shel Israel, co-author of the seminal blogging book, Naked Conversations, is working on a new book:
Global Neighborhoods
–How Social Media are moving power from institutions to people
Here’s the overview.
These are global neighborhoods. They may not be tangible, but they are far from virtual.
Real people separated by miles, oceans and political borders are connecting with others of like mind. They are conducting a great deal of business, making decisions based on the influence of peers rather than marketing campaigns. In a few cases, friendships are being formed between people whose governments are waging hostilities. Even the profound barrier of diverse language is being lowered by the universal communications abilities of music and pictures.
Good luck, Shel!
December 27, 2006
12 Comments

[Originally posted exactly two years ago today]
You lie for a living.
You’re not a bad person, not really, but telling the truth at your current company tends to get people fired.
And you can’t afford to be fired. You’re thirty seven, you’ve got three kids, you’ve got a big house to pay for, your wife would leave you within nanoseconds if the cashflow ever dried up, and it’s been well over over a decade since a cute, random girl in the street looked at you with anything even faintly resembling a sparkle in her eye.
Society only needs you because they need the product your company makes. Lose the job and you are no longer needed.
Without your job you’re just a mere stain.
So lying equals survival.
You have to lie because you have no other ideas about how not to be killed. How not to lose everything.
Lying replaced ideas long ago. Lying replaced great sex long ago. Lying replaced your marriage long ago. Lying replaced joy long ago.
Your lies became the painless cancer.
Yes, I’ve read your resume. Very impressive.
Look, I already said I’d get back to you next week.
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Somehow I don’t think this will end up making the cut as one of the new Stormhoek labels [the first one is coming out late January 2007, by the way].
It could be the beginnings of a very rude ad campaign, though…
[Bonus Link:] Kathy Sierra [*sigh*] made a Scoble doll for his Christmas present. Scoble was delighted.
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1. I usually carry two wee tins around with me. One for blank business cards, and one for completed drawings. I usually have a minimum of two or three pens on me– they’re quite temperamental things, so I like having backup etc.

2. Here’s a stack of 25 or so new drawings, all done in the last few days.…

3. Beer! Hurrah!
4. Bars are good for drawing. So is Starbuck’s. Japanese restaurants I usually find very productive.
5. To this day, I have no idea where ideas come from. I gave up trying to predict inspiration years ago.
6. Getting your hands on one of my originals is getting harder. I don’t give them out like I used to.
7. Success is also a curse.
8. I agree. Cartoons are so much cooler than laptops.
9. The romantic notion of inebriated, boozed-up artist is a load of crock.
10. Bankers talk about art. Artists talk about money.
11. Silicon Valley is far more interesting than Chelsea.
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Steve Clayton announces the winners of the “Blue Monster” lithograph.
I was in my local pub four days ago, hanging out with an old acquaintance. Another guy walks in, an American who my friend knows, who I’ve never met before. We get talking. Eventually the American asks me what I do for a living. I mention the “blogging” thing.
“Really?” he says. “My company is a Microsoft partner. There’s a blogger I know who works there, named Steve Clayton…”
Small world.
[Meanwhile:] Jim Nice, one of the first bloggers I ever met online, was shopping in South Florida the other day, where he stumbled across a bottle of Stormhoek in the supermarket. Rock on.
December 26, 2006
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A great YouTube video of Duke Ellington’s band playing “The Mooche”.
The Ellington Band is a great example of an organization that was [1] totally great, [2] totally original and [3] totally professional. These guys just didn’t mess around.
Anybody who doubts Ellington’s genius as a pianist should go check out his 1963 “Money Jungle” album. He makes it look so damn easy…
[Bonus Link:] If jazz has an equivalent of “Beethoven’s Ninth”, it would surely have to be Charles Mingus’ “Haitian Fight Song” on “The Clown” album. Here’s a YouTube video for some Japanese high school students making a pretty decent go of it. Rock on.
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From the London Evening Standard:
Bonus boom fuels £1bn luxury gift spree
Today London’s most expensive retailers said they had never known such strong demand — in contrast to lacklustre sales on high streets elsewhere in Britain.
[…]
In Savile Row sales have risen 10% on last year. Tailors’ shop Henry Poole said it had sold almost 50 bespoke £3,500 dinner jackets in two months. Another tailor, Richard Anderson, said one client had spent £22,000 on two blazers made of Himalayan mountain goat and finished with 22-carat gold buttons.
We’re not exactly complaining at English Cut, either.
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From my old high school buddy, SAP guru Hamish:
I came across this article on the DRM in Vista. No much wonder it is late. First they had to build it, then they had to break it.
What this fails to understand is that the idea of a file, a computer, and a user are all metaphors.
001100011001010101100111111000011101010101010100001111100001
All the information is binary, and in the same environment, it is like asking someone to lift themselves by the bootstraps. The notion of imposing the same metaphorical limits, like “this is a file of content, “, “this is an executable”, is like asking matter to divide itself into fire and ice. it may suit your metaphor, but it does not correspond to reality.
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This is the big Web 2.0 story over the Christmas break: “Jimmy Wales, the founder of Wikipedia, the online encyclopaedia, is set to launch an internet search engine with amazon.com that he hopes will become a rival to Google and Yahoo!…”
Lots of bloggers have been talking about it, but I like Dave Winer’s take on it the best:
Today Google’s profits come from ads, and that business gives them a reason to keep search weak. They want you to do a lot of searching to find what you’re looking for — and the stuff they find for you for free is competing with the stuff they make money on. So Google actually has a disincentive to make search better.
[Bonus Link from Fred Wilson:] Web 2.0 Is A Gift, Not A Threat, To VCs.
December 25, 2006
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[Link:] Personent Hodie.
1. Personent hodie
voces puerulae,
laudantes iucunde
qui nobis est natus,
summo Deo datus,
et de virgineo ventre procreatus.
2. in mundo nascitur,
pannis involvitur
praesepi ponitur
stabulo brutorum,
rector supernorum.
perdidit spolia princeps infernorum.
3. magi tres venerunt,
parvulum inquirunt,
parvulum inquirunt,
stellulam sequendo,
ipsum adorando,
aurum, thus, et myrrham ei offerendo.
4. omnes clericuli,
pariter pueri,
cantent ut angeli:
advenisti mundo,
laudes tibi fundo.
ideo gloria in excelsis Deo.
Merry Christ-Mass, Everybody.
December 24, 2006
9 Comments

David Sifry took this picture of me back in Paris a couple of weeks ago. I suppose I’ve looked worse. Thanks, Dave! [Click on image to enlarge etc.]
[Music:] Been listening to this album all night. Cat Stevens meets Lloyd Cole meets William Blake. Amazing. Genius.
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[Click on image to enlarge/download/print etc. Licensing terms here etc.]
[Bonus Jazz Links:] John Coltrane playing “My Favorite Things” on YouTube. And here is some Django Rheinhardt. Notice how he only used two fingers to play guitar [his other two were paralyzed in a fire when he was a kid etc].
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[Click on image to enlarge/download/print etc. Licensing terms here etc.]
December 23, 2006
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1. It looks like I’ll be based full-time in London for at least for the next two years. Not quite sure what I think about that. But I’m here for the business, not the lifestyle.
2. I feel the conversation I want to have the world is changing. Small is beautiful etc.
3. At last count there are over 1400 unique cartoons uploaded onto gapingvoid.
4. Current books: Re-reading “War And Peace” by Tolstoy, which I first read 12 years ago. Magnificent. “Spitfire. The Biography” by Jonathan Glancey, who’s an old friend of mine. Jonathan’s father flew Spitfires in World War Two. The guy at the bookshop up the road says the book is currently selling like hotcakes.
5. 2007 is going to be an insanely busy year for Stormhoek. I get tired just thinking about it.
6. New Year’s Resolutions: Quit smoking [Ha!]. Join a decent gym [I used to train at free weights and Kung Fu quite avidly back in my New York days, and wouldn’t mind getting the ol’ mojo back].
7. I’ve been drawing a lot on paper recently. Will start uploading some new stuff next week, once I get access to my scanner. Recently I’ve gone off drawing on the Tablet PC. Though the latter is a wonderfully versatile tool, it lacks a certain magic.
8. In the last year the main focus of my career has switched from building gapingvoid up, to what I call “shipping cases”. Unlike web stats, how many cases of Stormhoek shipped in any given time period are EXTREMELY easy to measure.
9. Unlike a lot of people with relatively well-known blogs, I am not a consultant. I have no day rate. When people ask me to get involved with their projects, the quid pro quo is helping Stormhoek “ship cases”, otherwise it’s hard to get me too interested. The only exceptions to this are English Cut and Thingamy, which I treat mostly as side projects. Stormhoek I treat as my main day job.
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From JP Rangaswami:
And that got me thinking. As we move to an age where the only true advertisements are recommendations, what is the role of the traditional advertisement going forward?
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From Sigurd:
Noted that Microsoft is coming out with a software update to make the Zune compatible with Vista. Good for them.
The patch is 22 Mb.
Thingamy is 14 Mb.
With Zune you can play some music, with Thingamy you can run Microsoft.
Are they paid by line-of-code in Seattle?
[Disclosure: I have a small stake in Thingamy.]
December 22, 2006
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Good stuff. David Armano gives us his “Holiday Manifesto”. Here’s a taster:
Stay away from malls
Gather around a table
Re-discover family tradition
Re-live fond memories
Forget bad ones
Play with a toy
Play chess with a friend
Just play
Spike the Eggnog
Think of someone in need
[gapingvoid manifesto submission guidelines are here.][Manifesto archive is here.]
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I’m back in London for Christmas.
I’m house-sitting for a friend and looking after her cat while she spends Xmas in America.
It’ll be a quiet couple of weeks. Everyone clears out of town for the holidays.
December 21, 2006
16 Comments

I’m thinking a lot these days about what I call “Unique Currency”.
Background: With what I’m doing doing professionally, the Stormhoek story isn’t just about the wine in the bottle. It’s a hybrid. It’s also about the blogger dinners, the Thresher virus, the Techcrunch prints etc etc.
This allows us to have something rather unique in the marketplace. Wine plus Hughtrain equals something unique to trade.
“Unique Currencies” are a good thing to have. Without it my business would be dead. Indeed.
So fast forward to earlier this week. I was talking to an old advertising buddy of mine, Eric, who left the business over 10 years ago to pursue a career in TV animation.
To make a long story short, after a decade in the business he’s contemplating leaving it altogether, and going back into advertising. He feels he’s gotten everything out of TV that he wanted, and thinks there’s some opportunities in the ad business that he could make good use of.
So I said to Eric, “Well, above all else use something from what you’ve learned in the TV business, in order to create your own ‘unique currency’ within the ad industry. Otherwise you’re just one more schmuck advertising creative over the age of 35, looking for a gig. The market is already flooded with those guys. And they rarely have an easy time of it. There’s just too many people chasing advertising work out there. Brutal. Miserable. Don’t even think of going there.”
“My thoughts exactly,” said Eric.
Whatever business you work in, whether you’re an employee or have your own business, you have a currency that you trade in. The more unique your currency, the easier time you’ll have of things. And no, we’re not talking “money”, “labor” or “service”.
We’re talking about something far more indirect and mysterious. This is what The Global Microbrand is all about.
I think “Unique Currency” matters more and more in the circles I travel in. You?
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From Podtech’s “The Scoble Show”:
What happens when we get a bunch of geeks get together on a Friday afternoon in London? The “Pissed as Newts” tour! Here’s a small part of the tour (we visited five pubs). You get to watch Hugh MacLeod draw one of his famous little drawings on the backs of business cards for his blog at www.gapingvoid.com. In the background are about 20 London geeks. The rest of the tour? It was off the record. 
In the second half of the video, we speak with Hugh during a London taxi ride — you’ll also meet software developer Sarah Blow, founder of Girl Geek Dinners — where we have a fun conversation.
Thanks, Scoble. It was a fun afternoon. And I thought you did a great job of filming it all.
It was kinda cool, showing Savile Row to all these geeks.
[BONUS VIDEO:] Maryam Scoble interviews Sarah Blow about how the Girl Geek Dinners came about.
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I read it. I liked:
Write not for others, as there are too many.
Write for yourself, as there is only one.
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From Doc Searls:
The bulk of advertising — all $160 billion of it (which buys a lot of art) — is a conversation between advertisers, media and agents for both. That conversation has enormous flywheels that were forged in the Age of Industry, and carry assumptions that are totally obsolete in a new age when the human beings we’ve been calling “consumers” are no longer dumb targets in a position only to absorb messages and displace cash.
Remember this essay’s title? The main reason I got out of advertising and PR was this epiphany:
THERE IS NO DEMAND FOR MESSAGES
I concur with Doc. That being said, though there may not be a demand for messages per se, there’s always going to be a demand for people who are better at selling your product [or idea] than you are.
And none of this is going to go away, no matter how evolved “The Intention Economy” becomes.
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[Thomas awash in Xmas cheer etc.]
Yesterday was our second annual English Cut Christmas party.
Thomas and I hired an old 1960s double decker bus and ferried 50-odd people– an eclectic bunch of tailors, suppliers, customers and friends– down to Leeming House on the banks of Ullswater, for a slap-up meal.
It was so lovely I cannot begin to tell you. It’s been an incredible two years. As I said to my guests in my [mercifully short] after-dinner speech, who would’ve guessed that in such a short time, two under-employed mavericks– a marketing guy and a Savile Row tailor– would create such a wonderful little company?
In my opinion the cool thing about English Cut is not the product, or how much money it makes. The cool thing about English Cut is that it makes a lot of people very happy. And yesterday more than confirmed this.
That’s what it’s all about, really.
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Micahel Wade from Execupundit sent me this:
The Career Manifesto
1. Unless you’re working in a coal mine, an emergency ward, or their equivalent, spare us the sad stories about your tough job. The biggest risk most of us face in the course of a day is a paper cut.
2. Yes, your boss is an idiot at times. So what? (Do you think your associates sit around and marvel at your deep thoughts?) If you cannot give your boss basic loyalty, either report the weasel to the proper authorities or be gone.
3. You are paid to take meaningful actions, not superficial ones. Don’t brag about that memo you sent out or how hard you work. Tell us what you achieved.
4. Although your title may be the same, the job that you were hired to do three years ago is probably not the job you have now. When you are just coasting and not thinking several steps ahead of your responsibilities, you are in dinosaur territory and a meteor is coming.
5. If you suspect that you’re working in a madhouse, you probably are. Even sociopaths have jobs. Don’t delude yourself by thinking you’ll change what the organization regards as a “turkey farm.” Flee.
6. Your technical skills may impress the other geeks, but if you can’t get along with your co-workers, you’re a litigation breeder. Don’t be surprised if management regards you as an expensive risk.
7. If you have a problem with co-workers, have the guts to tell them, preferably in words of one syllable.
8. Don’t believe what the organization says it does. Its practices are its real policies. Study what is rewarded and what is punished and you’ll have a better clue as to what’s going on.
9. Don’t expect to be perfect. Focus on doing right instead of being right. It will simplify the world enormously.
10.If you plan on showing them what you’re capable of only after you get promoted, you need to reverse your thinking.
Thanks, Michael!
[gapingvoid manifesto submission guidelines are here.][Manifesto archive is here.]
December 17, 2006
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I’m back home in Cumbria, chilling out before the Christmas break. I am too tired/busy to write much, but here’s a list of stuff on my mind:
1. The cartoon above pretty much represents my current emotional state. It’s been a long couple of months, mostly spent in London hotel rooms. I feel a bit burnt out, to be honest.
2. Rumor has it that I have found a flat in London [Pimlico neighborhood], and will be moving in early March. My main focus for 2007 will be London-based, as Stormhoek and the English Cut shirt project get busier and busier.
3. Loic posts his reply to the whole Techcrunch UK mess. I know him well enough to know he’s telling the truth. Some of the stuff left in the comment section I found “Beyond Lame”.
4. I was over at the Edelman London offices last week, talking to some people I know there, for my usual cynical, evil and mercenary reasons that we all know and love so well.
Here is one thought I came away with: As traditional, Madison-Avenue-style advertising gets more expensive and less relevant by the day, as the traditional mainstream media advertising business model gets continues to nosedive, where is all the client’s business going to move to, as it seeks out greener pastures? Google? Perhaps. Purple Cow? Sure. But where else?
Seriously. Where else?
There’s big money to be made by anyone who can provide the market with a half-decent answer.
December 16, 2006
27 Comments
[Add the gpingvoid widget to your blog.]
Richard Carter sent me this e-mail:
Hugh,
I display your widget on my homepage — in fact, I believe I was the
very first person to do so. I elected to display all images, rather
than invoke the sanitised option because I am not easily offended. Now
I find your widget is displaying adverts for Jesus. As a proud
Atheist, I have a big problem with this and consider it a breach of
trust. I really don’t mind people being religious, but I don’t want
them using my website to promote their religious views.
I’ll keep the widget up for the time being (in the assumption that
there will be a new non-religious cartoon coming along soon), but, if
there’s any more, I will be forced, reluctantly, to take it down.
Regards,
Richard
Adverts for Jesus. “Your Total Second Coming Solution.” Heh.
[NB: This e-mail was published with Richard’s consent.]
December 15, 2006
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[Click on image to enlarge/download/print etc. Licensing terms here etc.]
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[Click on image to enlarge/download/print etc. Licensing terms here etc.]
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Thanks, Alan, for this one. Too funny.
Driving in Phoenix Manifesto
1. We drive the temperature here, not the speed limit.
2. We have dedicated Left turn lanes, but don’t worry, they are great
places to catch up on the newspaper.
3. Since we have left turn lanes, blinkers, horns and lights are optional.
4. Only newbies and rookies use their horns, since we don’t use our turn
signals, no sense using anything else connected to the steering column.
5. The only exception to the horn rule is just before the sound of crashing.
6. If you are involved in a crash and the other person leaves, they are
illegal, have no drivers license or insurance and it’s their cousins car.
7. Your favorite store is always on the other side of town.
8. If the person in front of you has white hair, change lanes and
streets, they are snow birds, older than dirt, and have no idea where
they are.
9. The Accident report on the radio is always longer than the newscast.
10. Drivetime is quality time, use it wisely, it’s bedtime by the time
you get home.
–
alan herrell — the head lemur
raving lunacy
http://theheadlemur.typepad.com
[gapingvoid manifesto submission guidelines are here.][Manifesto archive is here.]
1 Comment

Big thanks to Spout.com for buying advertising on gapingvoid.
My advertising is now being handled by Federated Media.
December 14, 2006
16 Comments

[Click on image to enlarge etc.]
The Microsoft Blue Monster Lithographs have arrived. Microsoft’s Steve Clayton reports:
Hands up who wants one of the limited run of these puppies? More info soon.…
[update] okay, I can sense we may be inundated here so my plan is to put all the names in a hat on Christmas eve and announce the 10 winners on Christmas Day and for those who still want one but don’t get drawn out, I’ll add 3 more on to eBay on New Years Day with all profits from sales going to Microsoft UK’s chosen charity, NSPCC.
[PS: There are 1,000 lithographs in the edition. Yes, I have evil plan about what to do with them. Very evil. Yay.]
December 13, 2006
15 Comments

Got back to London from Paris at lunchtime.
I had a superb time at Le Web 3. Thank you, Loic and Geraldine Le Meur, for putting on such a good show. And thanks also to Jeff Clavier for helping out. Always a pleasure to see you guys.
Here are my thoughts, in no particular order:
1. This was definitely Loic’s show. Over the last two years, Le Web [formerly known as “Les Blogs”] has evolved more and more towards what Loic finds interesting, not necessarily what “The Bloggers” may find interesting. Loic likes entrepreneurship and politics, perhaps even more than he likes the geek-techie thing. I think what some of my fellow bloggers failed to understand is that we bloggers are not his only constituency, and with Le Web 3 Loic was trying to put a show on for all of his constituencies, not just our little niche. That explains why he changed the name of the event from Les Blogs to Le Web. That explains the curious mashup of folk that were there: bloggers, techies, VCs, politicians, entrepreneurs, mainstream media etc. Evolution is a good thing. Vive le difference.
2. A thousand people is an impressive number to have show up at your party, though I found that a wee bit too large for my tastes. Luckily I’m an old hand at these kinds of events, so I knew plenty of people already. By Day Two I had gotten quite used to the size.
3. Sorry to say, I did not care for the big party Monday night. The music was simply too loud. Serves me right for being such a saddo, middle-aged curmudgeon.
4. Several techie people expressed their displeasure to me privately about having the course of the show totally diverted by the needs of the politicians on the second day, throwing everyone’s schedule into disarray. Yeah, I could see how some folk would find that annoying [especially the more geekier among us], though I felt more philosophical. To me what was interesting wasn’t so much what the politicians had to say, but the fact that they were talking to us at all. Three years ago they wouldn’t have given us the time of day. And a lot of the credit on this side of the Atlantic belongs quite rightly with Loic.
5. I feel that the golden age of “The Blog Conference” is passed. It seems all that needs to be said about blogs has already been said, and said well. Now it’s time to stop talking about the blogs themselves, and start finding new stuff to do with them. Blogs are great, but real life is more interesting. From the way Loic had organized the conference, I think he would agree.
6. I love Paris, but I can only handle it for about 48 hours, then I’m ready to leave. It’s a beautiful city, but there’s this deep, pissed-off anger to the place that exudes from every pore. As a friend of mine once said, “The Parisians like to make simple things difficult”. Parisians are a charismatic, sexy bunch, but I wouldn’t describe them as happy. But hey, on Monday night, down in Saint Germaine, I had one of the most amazing dinners of my life for less than 30 Euros a head. The restaurant had about twelve tables, and the person buying me dinner, wanting to keep this little hidden treasure secret for eternity, made me take an oath not to blog about it. For these kind of experiences, Paris has no equal.
7. The most unfortunate aspect of the show was the lack of wi-fi on the first day. Bloggers will forgive just about anything except bad wi-fi. Luckily the wi-fi was working better the second day, which improved the general mood considerably.
8. I was hanging out with Laurent Haug, who also has a very fine conference in Geneva every February, called LIFT. Commenting on the negative reaction Les Web was getting in the blogosphere, Laurent remarked, “I don’t think some people quite understand JUST HOW DAMN HARD it is to put on a show like this, even a much smaller one than this.” I concur. Another thing which I thought wasn’t mentioned enough: Loic has an enthusiasm and a generosity of spirit which is off the scale. It is EXTREMELY rare for a man of that drive, talent and accomplishment to go such lengths to make good things happen for people like me and my friends, and yet ask for so relatively little in return. Frankly, I wish more of us were more like him. OK, so Le Web had a few setbacks. Errare humanem est. Move on.
9. I spent a lot of time with Ross Mayfield. I found him delightful and interesting company. He told me his company, Social Text, had thirty employees. Wow. That’s a lot bigger than I thought. Very impressive.
10. Marc Canter is beginning to grow on me.
11. Doing a presentation with Anina is always fun. She’s a real sweetheart.
12. After the speaker’s dinner on Sunday, David Sifry and I grabbed a cab and headed for a late night bar in Montparnasse. David is as passionate as he is lucid, not to mentiona wonderful photographer. I’ve been a fan of his company, Technorati for years, and it was absolutely terrific to hear him talking about his work first-hand. The highlight of the evening was, staggering home in the very early hours of the morning, we both suddenly started feeling very hungry. If this had been New York we would’ve found a all-night deli within two minutes, of course. But this being Paris, nothing was open. We finally lucked out when we came across a baker’s van, dropping off deliveries. The kind delivery man sold us some croissants for a couple of Euros, right there on the street. They were still warm from the ovens. Until then, I really hadn’t known croissants could be that delicious, even in France. Intense.
13. I really enjoyed getting to know David Weinberger better. Interesting, funny, passionate and very, very smart.
14. I don’t go to these shows so I can sit in an auditorium and listen to folk speaking for hours on end. I’m lucky if I average two hours per day. So what if the schedule changed this time, that’s not why we shell out the money to attend. I go to these events to meet and hang out with people like Sifry, Mayfield and Weinberger, over a cup of coffee or a beer behind the scenes. I got there to commune with my professional tribe. I go there because I like and believe in the people organizing the event. I go there because I like and believe in the other people attending. The stuff in the auditorium is just the hub, as far as I’m concerned. The real action is in the spokes. The real action is in the corridor conversations. And one thing Le Web provided was: plenty of those.
15. Thanks Again, Loic. You rock.
[UPDATE:] Thursday afternoon. Dennis Howlett left a great comment below:
There is another take– if Loic has political ambitions and is successful — then I will be up there cheering him on. He knows France is in a mess and believes Sarkozy represents the kind of thinking that changes things. Having lived in France for 7+ years I think I have some perspective.
If the venom being spat at Loic is the best ‘we’ can do then no wonder people think the blogs are a bunch of assholes.
Amen. And of course, this is the part nobody is mentioning. They’d rather prattle on about faulty wi-fi.
Having gotten to know Loic these last few years, and seeing first-hand what drives him, I find the lynch-mob that has emerged since yesterday utterly appalling. Anyone who thinks Loic just used the conference soley and selfishly to feed his own vanity and political career…
…is an utter fool.
December 10, 2006
13 Comments

These are my notes for my wee ten-minute talk I’m doing at Le Web 3 with Anina today at 6.30pm.
Backstory: I am in the fashion business. My company, English Cut makes $4000 bespoke [hand-made] suits– among the best in the world– and we use blogs as our primary marketing vehicle. The latter has proven to be extremely successful, doubling sales every six months or so.
Also, my other main eneterprise, Stomhoek wine in South Africa, just launched Stormhoek Siren, a wine that incorporatres both fashion and blogging sensibilities into the very centre of its brand.
As a participant in the blogging/Web 2.0 “revolution”, here are some thoughts that I think the web world could learn form the fashion world, and vice versa.
1. Stop talking about the future. Start talking about the present.
The Web 2.0 “Revolution” is already here. If you’re not already making hay with it, it’s not Web 2.0’s problem, it’s your problem. This time it’s the carpenter’s fault, not the tools.
2. Globalization. Fashion and Luxury brands are every bit as vulnerable as any other commodity.
In the old days, if you wanted to own a Hermes scarf, you had to go to Paris to buy it, or maybe New York/London/Tokyo etc. Now you can get them in Cleveland. Or Pittsburgh. Or Leeds.
Welcome to the commodification of “Bling”. Welcome to the future of highly lucrative niches, developed cheaply and with transparency [Something the fashion world is just not used to or ready for– but therein lies the opportunity for us mere mortals].
The backlash against globalized commodity is already here. Relish it.
3. “How do I make money with Blogs/Web 2.0?”
If you have to ask the question, you’ll probably fail. This new media is both intimate and intuitive. Nobody cares what the MBAs think.
4. With blogging, it’s not just about having “Passion and Authority”. You also have to have a great product.
Of course, having the latter is almost impossible without the former.
Actually, even a “great product” might not be enough. “World Class” is probably more applicable.
Great Product = Great Idea + Great Execution.
5. It has never been easier to own a niche. But it’s also never been easier to be totally screwed without one.
Just because you’re young, pretty and clever, does not mean you’re immune.
6. The best blogging campaigns are acts of love.
You cannot impose your own selfish values upon the blogosphere and still expect results.
What you can do, however, is give a damn. It’s a surprisingly effective strategy.
7. I will leave you with a thought from Six Apart’s Anil Dash, talking about the speech the Father of The Bride made at his wedding:
“What he told us is that, in the end, only love matters. Success and fame and wealth and even health all fade in time, and in the end all you have is love. And love is what matters. I hope everyone in the world gets the chance to discover that in the way that I have. I love you, Alaina.”
This market and communication transition we’re going through is not about technology, and it sure as hell isn’t about marketing. It’s about Love. Love enabled. Love re-asserting itself in the business between people.
Make of this what you will. Thanks, and Godspeed!
Questions?
[Bonus Link:] Le Web 3 Flickr page.
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[Click on image to enlarge/download/print etc. Licensing terms here etc.]
[Bonus Link:] Doc Searls:
What’s different now is that I’m far more capable, energetic, optimistic and eager to change the world at 59 than I ever was at any earlier age.
I can relate. I’m also a bit of a late bloomer. Long story. I guess it beats peaking too early etc.
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[Click on image to enlarge/download/print etc. Licensing terms here etc.]
December 9, 2006
9 Comments

[Click on image to enlarge/download/print etc. Licensing terms here etc.]
5 Comments

[Drafting patterns for bespoke shirts. Worth their weight in gold, seriously.]
I’ve not written a lot about English Cut, my $4000 suit enterprise I share with Savile Row tailor, Thomas Mahon for a while.
I guess there’s not really been a lot to write about, really. Tom’s been busy, and that’s about it. We’ve been at 100% capacity for months now.
The bespoke tailoring business doesn’t scale. It really doesn’t. Not unless you want to sacrifice quality big-time. And we don’t.
But this lack of scalability is what also gives true Savile Row its unique charm. In a world of me-too mass production, with luxury goods an increasingly diluted, globalised commodity, this is an amazing competitive advantage, especially for a tiny company like ours.
So as I’ve fond of saying, we have to scale the business in other ways.
The fact is, we’re making the best suits in the world. Or if we’re not, we’re darn close to it. So we have to take the same attitude with the other products. Either make the best, or don’t bother.
In 2007, we’ll be getting increasingly into the shirt business. We’re already making $300 hand-made shirts for our bespoke suit clients, but there are other shirt opportunities out there which we’re pursuing.
Think about it. We no longer live in a culture where wearing a suit and tie to the office is the norm. That being said, people still like wearing nice stuff. A proper English shirt goes great with a pair of jeans, good polished oxfords, with perhaps a blazer. It’s a classic look for a reason. And I think for a small, exclusive percentage of the population, it’s a conversation worth having.
I would like English Cut to be leading this conversation the future. In 5 years time, I’d like a lot of people to be saying, “Yeah, well, Thomas Pink is cool and all, but if you want the real deal, you have to go to English Cut.”
I think we can do it. I really do.
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I’m off to Paris tomorrow [Sunday] for 3 nights, attending Le Web 3. Back in London on Wednesday, then off home to Cumbria by the weekend.
If anyone is trying to reach me, my cellphone number there is +44 770 309 9462.
December 8, 2006
2 Comments

Eric Schwartz REALLY does not like George W. Bush. But his song, “Clinton Got A Blowjob” is funny as hell. Not safe for work. [Thanks to BL Ochman for the link]
[Bonus Link:] Live audio version here.