October 15, 2006
the cleopatra effect
One of the main reasons I never really pursued corporate blog consulting as a career, even though I’ve had some definite opportunities in this department, is because of what I call “The Cleopatra Effect”.
I remember when I was a kid watching this old black & white movie about Cleopatra. I can’t remember the name of the movie, but one scene always stuck with me:
Cleopatra is walking through the palace, when she’s suddenly stopped by the sound of pretty music, being played off in the distance.
She follows the sound of the music through the palace, till eventually she finds one of her courtiers in the garden, playing the harp.
“What pretty music,” she says to the courtier. “You play beautifully.“
“Thank you, Your Majesty,” says the courtier, obviously flattered.
“I would love to play music like that,” says Cleopatra. “Do you think you could teach me?“
The courtier, now that he’s feeling flattered, tries to win even more of her favor.
“Well, yes,” he gushes. “I’m sure a Queen as talented as you in so many things, would be talented at this as well.“
“Oh, good,” says Cleopatra, obviously delighted. “Here’s the deal. You teach me to play the harp. If I cannot play as well as you within one month, I will have you flogged. If I cannot play as well as you within three months, I will have you executed.“
The courtier’s face turns white. Cleopatra gives the courtier an evil smirk and then turns and walks off.
Make of this what you will.
"Hugh's Daily Cartoon" Newsletter.
A new cartoon sent out every weekday morning to your inbox [RSS version here.].
A wee chuckle to start your day off right etc.
Bah, a verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on
Publicity will build you, advertising will maintain you, but “the media” can destroy you.
I don’t give a damn either. But that doesn’t mean I don’t care .…
Excellent analogy. Keep up the good work.
Maybe the lesson is to play inferior to those who are more powerful than you, but play superior to those you have power over? Umm… I don’t understand what I just said. thus spoke churchpundit!
You’ve made a living out of being snide. Bless your soul.
The trouble with a lot of ‘ongoing’ corporate consulting services is corporates require both the creative clever stuff/ideas etc and the regular reports about how clever/effective the ideas they are being sold are. The problem is often that the guys get so good at reporting to the client how clever they are they take their eye of the ball and forget to be clever creatively.
In the Cleopatra scenario the courtier may need a clever reporting assistant if he is either a poor teacher or she a hopeless harp pupil. “Oh that sounds so good your majesty — every day you improve so much” gushes the reporting assistant as the clumsy diva produces yet more gut wrenching screeches.
So many consulting firms tell their clients what they want to hear, not what they need to hear (ie you mister client are a dumb, suited, power crazed, phsycho). I think Gapingvoid consultancy would be great. Hugh might do a great job of telling his clients where to get off as the reality of old power bases crumbling started to dawn on them.
Perhaps a cleverer reply on the courtier’s behalf would have been that while he was a good musician, he would make a lousy teacher.
Love your work, by the way.
this seems to me to be the core issue with blogging in 2006. Couple of years ago “authenticity” was the defining element that separated a blog entry from a press release. The explosion in blogging consultants blurs that separation. Blogging has got more to do with changing the way you do business than finessing your corporate persona. Creating the illusion that you care is not enough.
PR man — How do I know that you are authentic?
Blogger — I say “fuck” a lot
hehe
Peter, spot on!
As someone who soils one’s hands with corporates, I totally agree with Hugh. The trick is to do that on your own terms, especially if they come to you. Define the conditions and ‘reframe’ the engagement. Don’t be a consultant, that’s just another ‘c-word’. Tell them upfront, what’s going to happen, e.g. my ‘tagline’ is: Imploding companies, one silo at a time. If they still hire me, there is hope.
In my mind, I don’t deal with corporates, I deal with individuals working within them. They are also people, just like you and me, sometimes they just need to be de-borged.
Mike Peter Reed gives me an idea for a cartoon, Hugh:
“Just because I don’t give a damn
doesn’t mean I don’t care.“
Love it!
Right on! and this not only applies to consultants but also to employees who think outside the box and take a risk on behalf of their companies.
Power corrupts.
The stand out thing about Cleopatra’s comment here is that she’s behaving like a fucking moron and is only out-shone by the stupidity of the harpist.
Unless of course she is laying a trap for the obsequious little brown-noser in which case he deserves everything he gets.
I tend to bide by the ‘Carry on Cleopatra’ rule:
If they look like Amanda Barrie circa 1964 I’ll do anything.
I’m just getting to the stage where I’m getting asked frequently to apply ‘The Tinbasher Effect’ to other small businesses.
As if I’m Paul Daniels.
I then give them the passive/aggressive Dragon’s Den interview technique if they sound like they have potential.
And if they do have potential I won’t touch it unless I get quite a share in the online side of things and I have control.
I obviously get turned down quite a bit.
Thanks for the focus pointer. I’m just going to tell a prospective client to fuck off.
Hugh MacLeod, I absolutely love your cartoons. Absolutely random drop-in.
You are amazing and I am currently doing a english paper on one of your cartoons. I really like this blog though, because it’s not only funny but also true to the core. Thank you!
1. As a greenhorn it took me two dedicated nights to find out everything about corporate blogging (blogs are easy to find and well connected, duh!). So it does not need a pro consultant who gets a sh…load of money for it.
2. It NEEDS somebody who´s blogging constantly and honestly — and who has at least some kind of message. I think you can give the poor to-be corporate bloggers guidelines on how to be understandable and somehow cool. The problem is: They need freedom & trust to be fast as the blogworld is. And people see if the PR checked the spelling first. In the end, they can spoil more than achieving anything.
3. What the hell did I want to say? About Cleo: If you ever make ONE customer your ONLY queen, you´ve done something wrong right at the start…
Yup. Thanks for being an idol combining sucess AND coolness.
Actually, this reminds me of the tendency of consultants, especially, and sometimes others who are so desperate for the business that they hardly hear what they’re committing to before screaming, “Yes, yes, we can do that, too!” Often, before the check has even cleared they’re thinking, “Oh shit, what did I get myself into?!“
I would say, in my case, half of such engagements resulted in beautiful music (’cause I’m so motivated by pressure) and half in, well, near-fatal flogging.
Live and learn, we do.
Halo!
Check this out!
*