October 13, 2006
top ten reasons why you didn’t sell your web 2.0 company to google for $1.6 billion.
[NB: This cartoon is available as a Blogcard.]
“Top Ten Reasons why you didn’t sell your Web 2.0 company to Google for $1.6 Billion” [in lieu of the recent YouTube sale]:
1. You already sold your company. For a lot less, to somebody else. Ouch. Ouch. Pain.
2. Instead of giving your company an easy-to-spell, easy-to-talk-about name like “YouTube”, you decided to give your company a name that [a] nobody likes and [b] nobody can spell. Robert Scoble explains.
3. Your company probably isn’t even worth $1.6 million, let alone $1.6 billion. Heck, $1.6 thousand would be considered “not bad” in some books…
4. You’re still working at Starbucks. So you went from dotcom entrepreneur in 1999, to a penniless barrista in 2001, to… ummmm.… still a penniless barrista in 2006. Life is unfair.
5. Your business model doesn’t scale. In fact, I’m not quite sure about your business in the first place, let alone whether the model scales or not…
6. Marc Cantor likes you. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
7. “Inbound Links” is not the same as “Inbound Cash”. Some people take a while with this one.
8. None of the A-Listers linked to your blog. If only people like BoingBoing and Engadget had agreed to a little ol’ mutal backscratching, the market would have blissfully overlooked the fact that nobdoy likes or uses your product. Next time, offer cash bribes. Seriously.
9. It doesn’t say “Beta” on your home page. Why does that matter? What, you mean you don’t know?! Loser.
10. Valleywag doesn’t try to crash your parties. I know. Not having Nick crashing your parties takes some doing… it’s like having mosquitoes in Northern Maine not trying to bite you. Kinda spooky when it happens.
[Bonus Link:] “Top Ten Reasons Why Nobody Reads Your Blog”.
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You forgot–
11. You don’t have a partnership with Seqoia Capital like Google Board member Michael Moritz. Seqoia Capital is not the sole investor in your business.
Or, as reported in The Register–
“Sequoia Capital, the sole investor in YouTube, has seen its $11.5m investment increase 140-fold. So not a bad day for Google Board member Michael Moritz, a partner at Seqoia Capital.”
Can I get this business card for me to show to my wife?
You certainly can, Jim:
http://gapingvoid.streetcards.com/streetcards_pz1.php?styleId=53&mode=&searchKeyword=&startCards=24
Thanks =)
Your blog is one of the things that raises the standard of my life.
(If you don’t undermine yourself, then I’m not pathetic).
1. I
2. have
3. no
4. company
5. only
6. words
7. that
8. I
9. give
10. away
lol
I think it has something to do with the fact that there is only one as seen on tv logo to steal and they got to it first.
Oh well for the rest of us. We will just have to wait in vain for another great logo to copy.
Marti is my hero.
As a recent recipient of GV traffic, I can reinforce the idea that increased traffic doesn’t mean increased “[whatever]”. (Money, subscribers, best buds, etc.) Traffic = traffic, the rest is gravy. Or hard work. Or luck. Or something. Not that I don’t appreciate the traffic. The trick is to set realistic expectations about what that traffic boost means in the greater scheme of things. Oh, and a good hosting plan helps too. Visit three times a day, if you wish. My host can handle it.
11. You site isn’t used by 60 millions of teenagers on a daily basis
Or maybe I was just thinking on the wrong lines. By the way, the pictrue on top is very expressive and deep.