March 19, 2005
“living vicariously through my future self”
We all have dreams. I’ve had plenty over the years.
Getting my cartoons published one day. Getting my book published one day. Landing an advertising job that didn’t totally suck one day. Moving to New York one day. Moving back to New York one day. Getting my name mentioned on X’s blog one day…
One day. It’s always “One day”. My term for it is “Living vicariously through my Future Self”.
It’s funny how the dreams are all now fading for me, but in a good way.
: My cartoons are now “well known” enough. I’m perfectly happy with the size of my audience. Not too big, not to small. And a large chunk of them (you) seem to be kind, smart, thoughtful, interesting people, which is even more gratifying.
And yes, I’m generally happy with the overall quality of the work. It’s about as good as somebody with such third-rate writing and drawing talent as myself could ever hope to expect. Plus I never had to sell out, nor did I ever have to starve to death.
: The bloggers I admire the most, some well-known, some obscure, I link to them, and they link back to me for the most part. According to Technorati, my links ranking puts me well in the Top 300, out of eight million blogs. So traffic isn’t exactly a problem.
: The advertising industry to me is irrelevant. Very little in that industry I find even remotely interesting, let alone intellectually honest. Right now I have four advertising projects on the go (five if you include English Cut), but I’m not seeking out more work in this area. I’ve written the Hughtrain. I said what I wanted to say, and have since moved on.
: New York is far too expensive and over-the-top for a tight Highlander Scots bastard like me.
: The books, the t-shirts etc… they’re fun, but none of it’s a money gig. I’m primarily doing it because my readers asked me to. The people who want them will buy them, and that’s absolutely wonderful, but I’m not bothered about the people who don’t. Trust me, in terms of time, stress and effort, it’s a lot easier selling $4000 worth of bespoke suits than selling $4000 worth of t-shirts or blogcards.
I’m starting to see a pattern here.
All these dreams seem to have been replaced by the singular, simple wish to see “I’m interested in buying a suit” sitting in the English Cut e-mail inbox when Tom or I check it in the morning.
And that’s not something you really dream about. It’s either sitting in the inbox or it isn’t. Dreaming has nothing to do with it.
It’s real.
I’ve noticed this idea before, the idea that I’m always living my life in the future. You know, always thinking that “one day” I’ll do this or that. For me, that thought pattern got in the way when I was actually doing the things I always said I was “going to do.” Because I was still in the habit of thinking that I was “going to do” them. Does that make sense? The habit was not being aware of what I was doing at that moment, not focusing on what I could touch and affect.
Hi Hugh:)
I’ve been a fan of your cartoons since the moment I first saw one (accidentaly found through google image search I don’ remember exactly why). Since then I’ve been following your blog daily and it’s one, if not the only, I consider worth visiting daily, several times a day if necessary. What I admire most is your capacity of resuming life styles in one sentence… and thank you for the occasional deep and romantic cartoon which reminds that this is not such a void;)
I’m also into blogging (who would guess? nobody does that these days, right?) but I write in Portuguese so you wouldn’t be able to read it. I linked you a while ago.
Today I just wanted to say hi and good luck for you, and keep up with that sense of humour;)
Greetz*
Ana
… and I’ll bet it’s a fair bit harder to be able to measure, cut, sew and adjust a $4000 bespoke suit than it is to whip up a few blogcards or a t-shirt or two … (and yes, you do have to have some life experience, a slightly bent persepctive, some talent with drawing and words to do the latter … but how long and rigorous is the apprenticeship to becoming a bespoke tailor ?) … in other words, easier going out, harder coming in, and vice-versa.