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January 1, 2005

diary of an “authentic voice” evangelist

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Diary of an “Authen­tic Voice” Evan­ge­list
MONDAY
Woke up at 6am. Went online to check out all 2,345 of my RSS feeds.
Dave Winer, as usual, made an idio­tic sta­te­ment so I spent the next few hours des­tro­ying his argu­ment in the com­ment sec­tion. That’ll teach him. I was going to blog it as well but then it was time for lunch.
TUESDAY
Went to see Larry, my big­gest client, owner of the famous Loyola’s Car Wash. I think he’s inching clo­ser to finally “get­ting” the markets-are-conversation metaphor. In the mean­time, he wants me to hire a pho­to­grapher to take pic­tu­res of young women lying on the top of car hoods outside his place of busi­ness (or “brand arena”, as I pre­fer to to call it). Phi­lis­tine!
WEDNESDAY
Got an e-mail from Robert Sco­ble, which read “No Pro­blem! –Robert”. Ear­lier this month I had writ­ten him a long lett­ter, than­king him and Mic­ro­soft for the won­der­ful work they are doing on the Blogosphere’s behalf. The expla­na­tion mark after the word “pro­blem” tells me how exci­ted he is about all the ideas I sent him.
Mic­ro­soft will want to hire me as a con­sul­tant, just a mat­ter of time.
THURSDAY
There’s was a blog­ging din­ner hap­pe­ning. I was thin­king of flying in for it, maybe sta­ying in town over the wee­kend and net­wor­king with other Future-A-Listers. Sadly my mother’s arth­ri­tus was acting up, so I had to can­cel and stay behind. She needs me.
FRIDAY
I need to upgrade my blog from Blog­ger to Mova­ble Type soft­ware. I send Mena Trott, one of the foun­ders of MT an e-mail. Ins­tead of paying the license fee, maybe she would con­si­der giving me one for free in exchange for me adver­ti­sing her com­pany on my new web­site. Though the num­bers on my blog are not exactly vast, my demo­graphics read like a Who’s-Who’s of A-List Royalty. So far I haven’t heard back but something tells me she’ll be inte­res­ted. She knows a cutting-edge mar­ke­ting solu­tion when she sees it.
SATURDAY
I see Evelyn Rodri­quez is get­ting all that traf­fic from wri­ting about her sur­vi­ving the Tsu­nami. That little mynx! What’s that, like, one human death per visi­tor to her blog? How can she look at her­self in the mirror after she sha­me­lessly rides on the back of all those hel­pless poor people/victims, is what I wanna know…
SUNDAY
The utterly ove­rra­ted Jeff Jar­vis has ban­ned me pos­ting com­ments on his blog. He calls him­self a tough New Yor­ker, but obviously he’s not tough enough to handle a sub­ject as per­fectly natu­ral and nor­mal as female bodily fun­tions. Typi­cal East-Coast Libe­ral hypocrisy.

13 Responses to “diary of an “authentic voice” evangelist”

1. Barry Dorrans says:

   January 1, 2005 at 2:29 PM

   Umm, those car wash pics; link?
2. Jeff Jarvis says:

   January 1, 2005 at 2:33 PM

   Well, actually, it’s male bodily func­tions that get you in trou­ble… don’t even men­tion v-i-a-g-r-a. Spam is the obs­ce­nity of the new age, eh?
3. cynthia says:

   January 1, 2005 at 3:06 PM

   is this post a joke? which com­ment sec­tion did you des­troy dave winer’s argu­ment in? he doesn’t have comments.
4. Rose says:

   January 1, 2005 at 3:34 PM

   Are you being sar­cas­tic or stu­pid? Too hard to tell.
5. Steve Griffiths says:

   January 1, 2005 at 3:46 PM

   Hugh: this is you spea­king right? I’m a little stu­pid the­re­fore confused.
6. Jeff Jarvis says:

   January 1, 2005 at 3:57 PM

   Oh, how we need a sar­casm tag.
7. John says:

   January 1, 2005 at 4:34 PM

   Hey I know you are a big fan of being emplo­yed by Mic­ro­soft, power to you etc, but please dont keep plug­gin the Sco­be­li­zer blog, which is tur­ning into a self con­gra­tu­la­tory wank machine. Latest was a post on how Bill Gates caught the wave and went on record giving 3 mill to Tsu­nami vic­tims. Way to go Bill. What a won­der­ful human you and Micr­soft really are.
8. alan herrell - the head lemur says:

   January 1, 2005 at 6:12 PM

   BBBZZZZZZZZ the sound of the hugh train ree­ling the clueless.……BBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
   love the new hooks.…heh
9. mike dunn says:

   January 1, 2005 at 6:59 PM

   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarcasm
10. chris says:

    January 1, 2005 at 7:50 PM

    http://tinyurl.com/638ze
11. Evelyn Rodriguez says:

    January 1, 2005 at 9:45 PM

    I once wor­ked for a cou­ple of Brits — I finally lear­ned to tell when they were pulling my leg and when they were sin­ce­rely being honest but it wasn’t always easy. I think Ame­ri­cans have a bit of trou­ble get­ting a handle on Bri­tish sar­casm and wit.
12. Bradley Allen says:

    January 2, 2005 at 1:28 AM

    Hugh dar­ling,
    Here I am with bronchi­tis, and on dail-up… and you’ve just made everything just a little bit bet­ter. You seek and speak the Truth. And that in itself pre­sents many oppor­tu­ni­ties for comedy. Thank you. And happy New Year.
13. Tijs says:

    January 2, 2005 at 9:42 PM

    finally a bit of well nee­ded fun on this blog! good call!