December 20, 2004

cluechained

3 Comments

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Brian Mof­fat left a hila­rious com­ment on my recent “Hugh­train For Hire” post:

If a com­pany is clued in they won’t need you.
If they’re clue­less, they won’t want you.
You need the half-clued.
And if you’re half good, they’ll be clued-in quick.
So, yeah raise your fee by half. 15K. Work with no client for no more than three months. 5K per. Clued-in in 90 days or fuck off and die.
Plus eli­mi­nate the phone calls. NONE! Unless you plan on recor­ding them, for qua­lity or fuc­king ama­ze­ment pur­po­ses.
Keep it all in text/wikis. Pres­su­res peo­ple to think. Hold all meetings,when and if and only when neces­sary, at a zoo or an art gallery.
Other than that, I haven’t got a fuc­king clue what you’re tal­king about, to be honest about it, other than unders­tan­ding that peo­ple are basi­cally psycho­tic, so there’s a basis for a con­ver­sa­tion there, I sup­pose, but I really don’t want to have a con­ver­sa­tion about the shit I buy, and I wouldn’t have to if everything thrown on the mar­ket wasn’t beta qua­lity in the first fuc­king place. I’d be fuc­king ama­zed if ever­yone stop­ped pre­su­ming that I want a rela­tionship. I don’t. Any more than I want mes­sa­ges. I want anony­mous sex. No tal­king. It’s always ama­zing and renews my faith in our spe­cies more than any pro­duct and or ser­vice, and if you and the busi­ness model Train set don’t get this, call me and we’ll talk.

[NOTE TO SELF:] Wri­ting about mar­ke­ting without losing all self-respect is har­der than it looks.
[NOTE TO SELF:] The more I unders­tand mar­kets, the less I want to be in them.

3 Responses to “cluechained”

  1. Johnnie Moore's Weblog says:
    December 20, 2004 at 1:46 pm

    No esca­ping conversation

    Hugh obser­vesW­ri­ting about mar­ke­ting without losing all self-respect is har­der than it looks.Couldn’t have put it bet­ter myself, so, there, I’ve let Hugh do it for me. He does so in the con­text of some amu­sing and well-argued feed­back about…

  2. h2co says:
    December 21, 2004 at 3:06 am

    Searching for ques­tions can bring more mea­ning then searching for ans­wers. If you believe that then I’ve got some swamp land for sale in Alaska! Wanna buy?

  3. MNteractive says:
    December 29, 2005 at 6:48 pm

    Mar­ke­ting Quotes

    I’ve added a new cate­gory to the Mnte­rac­tive blog: quo­tes. I’m always fin­ding great one-liners while sur­fing the blogs. I often need a quote for a pre­sen­ta­tion, because – as we all know – no one belie­ves you, but if you quote someon…